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Listomania: 10 Signs You're a Closet Dave Matthews Band Fan

Is this poster in your room right now? You're all in, dude.
Is this poster in your room right now? You're all in, dude.

The Superpages.com Center is pretty busy this weekend.

Rockstar Energy Drinks' UPROAR Fest featuring Disturbed and Avenged Sevenfold is tonight, the JoBros and Demi Lovato take over the place on Sunday, and, on Saturday, Dave Matthews Band on Saturday will have things running amok.

Here's the thing about the Dave Matthews Band, though: Their ever-present (we refuse to the use the word prolific) discography is now surprisingly old. Seriously. Would you believe that Under the Table and Dreaming is now 16 years old? 'Cause it is--that sucker came out in 1994.

But, then again, you probably already knew that, superfan.

Oh, stop taking offense. If you're in denial over how big of a fan you are, check that record collection again.

More than four CDs? Well, geez, you might just be a massive fan.

But if you're muttering, "Hey, asshole, Dave Matthews Band sucks a mountain," under your breath, then check out our list after the jump. If you match the criteria, just give up already; you're a huge DMB fan and you need to embrace it already.

Think this dude is the best guitarist ever?
Think this dude is the best guitarist ever?


1. You put Tim Reynolds on your "Top Five Guitarists of All Time" list.
Aside from the MRI you'd need if you thought the above, your worn out copy of Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds Live at Luther College (and lack of any Jimmy Page or Hendrix LPs) gives you away.

At a spread show, dude.
At a spread show, dude.


2. You've referred to a Widespread Panic show as a "Spread" show.
Most likely, you've worn a sleeveless tee to this band's concerts. Maybe faux ray bans, too. Maybe it was your first experience with weed? It's OK. Just own up to it. You're a jam band fan, dude. And you've seen Dave Matthews Band at American Airlines Center four times.

You have this tattoo? Might as well own up to it.
You have this tattoo? Might as well own up to it.


3. You call the band DMB.
You don't need to show us your closet; we know you've got a stack of ripped bootleg MP3s from Napster (on that T3 connection).

You have, like, three copies of this album...don't you.
You have, like, three copies of this album...don't you.


4. When you're alone, you play "Crash Crash Into Me" on the guitar.
It's why you got the guitar, isn't it?

Emotional still from the emotional music video for "Crash Into Me"
Emotional still from the emotional music video for "Crash Into Me"


5. You cry when you listen to "Crash Crash Into Me"
Whatever, it's like the best song ever.

 

Listomania: 10 Signs You're a Closet Dave Matthews Band Fan


6. You've been to more than three Guster shows.
Don't get me wrong, Guster is fun. But if the money and time you've spent on Guster concerts matches, say, a ticket to Lollapalooza, then you're ready for the entire Dave Matthews Band Collection--including the awful Everyday.


7. You ask your friends to "jack up" the volume on David Gray's "Babylon" when it comes on the radio.
You're in the back of the car, in that terrible middle gap, and "Babylon" bleeds through the speakers. If your occipital skips a beat, it means you should head to CD Source and pick up that used copy of These Crowded Streets.

Look above you. You might see this poster.
Look above you. You might see this poster.


8. You had/have the following combo of posters in your college dorm: Fight Club, Goodfellas, and Bob Marley.
Admit it, you have a ripped copy of Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King in Ping right now.

Listomania: 10 Signs You're a Closet Dave Matthews Band Fan


9. You can directly quote the banter from Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds live acoustic album.
The Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds tour was so popular, they did it again. And then again. If you have all three Live... albums, you've crossed over into mega-fan. Seek Dispatch's song "Two Coins" and pack it in.

Listomania: 10 Signs You're a Closet Dave Matthews Band Fan


10. You're go to an all-guys high school.
The mothership forum for Dave Matthews Band experimentation is at all guys high schools around the nation. Simply play "The Space Between" on your iPhone and people will come stampeding for discussion.


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