It doesn't seem to matter what's going on in Libya, Egypt or even Washington D.C.; somehow, a pretty mediocre actor's personal life has been managing to lead every newscast and dominate discussion on every talk radio show throughout the past week.
In some ways, though, the media's Charlie Sheen obsession is understandable. The recently fallen-off-the-deep-end actor never seems to run out of wonderfully ridiculous things to say. No wonder he set a record this week as being the fastest Twitter user to gain a million followers.
We're no different from everybody else. We simply can't get Mr. Sheen off our brains.
So, on that note we present you with a winning, Charlie Sheen-inspired playlist. Give it a listen and get your tiger blood on after the jump.
The only chorus lyrics are "I'm Winning," repeated over and over. If we didn't already know better, we could totally see ourselves being duped into believing that Charlie actually might have penned this one himself.
This one seems pretty obvious. Although, to be fair, we totally believe Charlie when he says he "cured himself with his brain."
Charlie has compared parts of his body to that of a tiger's on multiple occasions. We could totally imagine him using thisRocky
jam as his early morning pep-up song, though. What better way to get that tiger's blood pumping?
Does Charlie Sheen ever go anywhere or do anything without at least a couple porn actresses in tow? No. The answer is no.
One of our favorite recent Sheen-isms was when he quipped that "a lot of people thinkMajor League
's calledWild Thing
. As they should." But, seriously, we can't remember the last time we heard this song and didn't picture Ricky Vaughn sprinting intimidating-ly out of the Indians' bullpen. So he's probably right.
Charlie may no longer be a drug addict, but apparently he's contracted a much more serious illness as of late. Our latest fears were confirmed byone of Sarah Silverman's latest Tweets
: "My thoughts and prayers are with Charlie Sheen tonight, as he's been diagnosed with Full Blown Busey."
Sheen's been quoting Allen Iverson's now-legendary "We're talking about practice!" line a lot lately in order to dismiss claims he missed a fewTwo and a Half Men
rehearsals. This one we can't blame him for though; for starters, we spend a large part of our lives with this YouTube remix stuck in our heads, and we can't possibly fathom how he would make his teammates better with practice.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Perhaps the best Sheen quote of all? "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars." Hmm, sounds an awful lot like someone else we know...
...and just because it seems to be almost every other word out of the star's mouth, we'll throw in a few more songs about -- what else? -- "winning." Enjoy.
Bee Gees - "You Win Again"
Hot Chocolate - "Every 1's a Winner"