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Quiz: Tori Amos Lyric or Dallas Bathroom Poetry?

Tori Amos doesn't seem to trust this quiz.
Tori Amos doesn't seem to trust this quiz.
Courtesy the artist

Even if you weren't a Tori Amos fan in the mid-to-late '90s, the odds are good that you knew a few of us who were.

Our Kool-Aid dyed hair and witch-length skirts helped visually amplify our hormonal angst to the surrounding world. As did our notebooks -- scribbled with words about nicotine patch addiction, little earthquakes, spinning in circles and other cryptic riddles that only Our Great Lady Guardian, Tori Amos, fully understood.

She's in town tonight at the AT&T Performing Arts Center in support of her 14th album, Unrepentant Geraldines. But if you've explored the ladies rooms of your favorite Dallas bars, you might think she's been here all along.

We went ahead and collected our favorite pieces of bathroom poetry so you could decide: Is it a Tori Amos lyric, or a girl shitting with a pen? Click through to find out.

See also: Tori Amos: "Being 50 Has Been a Huge Inspiration"

Tori Amos Lyric, or Girl Shitting with a Pen?

"Withered willow tree - Dopamine deficiency, a pond in winter. Milk sugars, conscience, honey: thick cream lightens strong coffee."

 

Girl Shitting with a Pen

Quiz: Tori Amos Lyric or Dallas Bathroom Poetry?

That was the intro from an impassioned ode titled "Immeasurables," found in the ladies' can at Cock 'n' Bull.

 

Tori Amos Lyric, or Girl Shitting with a Pen?

"Flaxen hair blowing in the breeze
 It is time for the geese to head south
 I have come with my mustard seed
 I cannot accept that she will be taken from me"

 

Tori Amos Lyric

Quiz: Tori Amos Lyric or Dallas Bathroom Poetry?

An excerpt from "The Beekeeper", off Here In My Head.

 

Tori Amos Lyric, or Girl Shitting With a Pen?

"Messenger, your tongue Traces a gospel along my lips I can taste your conviction Devotion burns in your eyes"

 

Girl Shitting With a Pen

Quiz: Tori Amos Lyric or Dallas Bathroom Poetry?

I know, I know. It has all of the key words you expect from a Tori Amos lyric: gospel, lips, conviction. But this little jewel is actually the handiwork of a Lakewood Landing Poet Laureate.

 

Tori Amos Lyric, or Girl Shitting With a Pen?

"I've got a fever above my waist
 you got a squeeze box on your knee
 I know the truth is in between
 the 1st and the 40th drink"

 

Tori Amos Lyric

Quiz: Tori Amos Lyric or Dallas Bathroom Poetry?

Also from the Here in my Head album, that's the song "Concertina".

You probably don't remember a single word other than "Concertina," but for Tori Amos fans the chorus melody is now playing on loop in your skull's PA system.

You're welcome.

 

Tori Amos Lyric or Girl Shitting With a Pen?

"I will wade out Till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers I will take the sun in my mouth And leap into the ripe air"

 

Girl Shitting With a Pen

Shockingly similar to Amos, due to the water-based mythology - this is the handiwork of a girl with a Sharpie and a few minutes to kill at Lee Harvey's.

Add up your scores and let's see how you did.

1-2 Correct Tangerine. Play-doh. Why doesn't Tiger come home? So much winter in his wine Follow the telephone to paper-cut landscapes

3-4 Correct Who says can't scissors eat glass? Icing on a partridge A slow leak Mother warned this sauce would curdle

5 Correct Dragon said she woudn't dance Fear of candy monsters May the gods prank Cindy last Your paws smell of gingerbread

I hope you find your winning category summations satisfying. I think Tori would.

TORI AMOS will be grinding her pelvic bone against a piano bench tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Winspear Opera House. Get tickets here.

Use Current Location

Related Location

miles
AT&T Performing Arts Center

2403 Flora St.
Dallas, TX 75201-2415

214-954-9925

www.attpac.org


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