The Long, Strange Tale of Pee Pee Cat and Fart Dog
If you've urinated in a Denton club restroom in the past four years or so, you've probably come across a couple of the city's mascots. Pee Pee Cat and Fart Dog are rendered in black marker, and exist next to urinals across Texas and some parts of the U.S. More specifically, these characters have maintained a home in the stalls of several Denton locations like Hailey's Club, Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios and Dan's Silverleaf. Each time a wall is painted, they reappear shortly thereafter.
Pee Pee Cat is a boxy, one-dimensional feline who stands over a puddle of pee and employs the phrase "Pee Pee Cat is the life of the potty." Fart Dog is a mischievous-looking canine who excretes a puffy methane cloud, admitting, "Fart Dog can't help it." Well, we've all been there, right?
With their inspirational catchphrases, the animated duo has won the hearts of Denton show-goers and music venue patrons for years. But one thing still perplexes their admirers.
"I have no fucking idea where they came from," says Denton musician Ben Gallegos. "I've seen them on bathroom walls forever, but I've never known who created them. I don't think anyone does."
I sat down with Pee Pee Cat and Fart Dog in order to shed some light on these urinal-dwelling characters, and hopefully gain a little insight as to who it is you're sharing some of your most intimate moments with.
Tell me a little bit about yourselves. When and how were you born? Fart Dog: I was born the night Prince wrote "Purple Rain." In fact, I was born in the shrubs outside his parents' house. You can see that shrub in the movie Purple Rain. It's on the left side of the side door, on the side of the house. Pee Pee Cat: I came from a long line of felines that date back to even the earliest Nimravidae and Hoplophoneus mentalis.
Are you male or female? Fart Dog: I am a male. Pee Pee Cat: I am male on the weekends and female during the work week, for personal reasons.
How did you two meet? Pee Pee Cat: We met at a church mixer for homeless mascots. We had a good chat over a bowl of dried-out diarrhea. We eventually had a long courtship and that extended into a Boston marriage situation for a few years. That ended yesterday. Every now and again, I'll see him in a boys' or girls' bathroom, we'll hang out and catch up there. Fart Dog: I ate Pee Pee Cat's poop once, it was slightly sweeter than most cat poop. We used to hang out more, go out drinking, start shit with raccoons, regular American things, but Pee Pee Cat met someone and now we never hang out.
Are you two codependent on each other? Pee Pee Cat: I was very codependent on Fart Dog when I had a sushi addiction, and the raw fish I was consuming caused a breakdown of what little naturally occurring thiamine I had. This relaxed my urethra to an uncontrollable and irreversible extent. Also, I was born with hyperadrenocorticism, and this has caused a lifetime of polyuria. I have since had an adrenalectomy and go through rigorous replacement therapy with glucocorticoids and mineralocorticoids. Even with the two strikes against me, I still have such fond memories of growing up peeing wherever I wanted. It's not all bad, though. When I was in high school, I was on the swim team. I was really good. Intercontinental champ for nine lifetimes. I got endorsement deals from some of the country's major companies and they formulated my urine into every popular citrus-flavored soda pop in the world. The money helps with all the medicine I have to buy. Fart Dog: No, but Pee Pee Cat tends to get a little too clingy.
When did you first begin appearing on restroom walls? Fart Dog: I started noticing myself on walls a few years ago, over on the "Near South Side" part of Fort Worth. I think the Chat Room was the first place. I was on a bender, had a few too many "sex with an alligator" shots, and was throwing up into the urinal when I looked up and saw me, on the wall, farting. Pee Pee Cat came around months after me. It felt good to have a new friend. Pee Pee Cat: I like to think I was always in the heart and imagination of every child before they knew me. This is how I am like Christ, by the way. Same goes for Fart Dog. I like to think I am never alone. Wherever there is potty, I am watching and pottying with you.
What places, cities and bathrooms have you seen? Fart Dog: In Texas, I've been in DFW, Denton, Austin and the smaller surrounding cities, but I've also seen myself in Colorado, California, Seattle, Portland and a few other cities as well. I don't even know people there so it kind of blew my mind.
What is the most awkward bathroom experience you have witnessed? Fart Dog: Fart Man. He was on the wall with us once. I don't know Fart Man but I imagine we could be friends. Pee Pee Cat: A girl wiping with her sock.
Are you only in men's rooms, or are you in ladies' restrooms as well? Fart Dog: Mostly in men's rooms, but every once in a while I make it in the ladies' rooms. Pee Pee Cat: I am also in family restrooms. I can be found at baby-changing stations, the sides of houses, the backs of houses, mall parking lots, the fronts of crowds at concerts, Gatorade bottles, mattresses and the pool.
Why do both of you have slogans? Fart Dog: Because Fart Dog can't help it. He's not trying to be rude or funny, he's not trying to gross you out. He's gassy. He can't help it. Pee Pee Cat: Because my smile is contagious. You never want to rush the flush. Potty on, Wayne.
What other anecdotes would you like to add? Fart Dog: One time I was hanging outside the Black Angels show at Hailey's Club and I heard one of the Black Angels on the phone talking about me. He said something like, "There's a Fart Dog here, just like the one at the Mohawk!" I was pretty excited. Mostly I was excited because I thought he was talking into an alligator. I mean, you have to take 'shrooms when you're going to see the Black Angels, right? Someone told me that was an actual law. Pee Pee Cat: One time, I loved all of you forever. All of you are my children and Daddy wants you to party when you pee!
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