The Sad Bastard Show
You sad, miserable bastard. Look at you. I wish you could see yourself right now. Pick yourself up off the floor, put on some pants and look at yourself in the mirror. No! Put some pants on first. There, that's better. Now look at yourself, you sad, sad bastard. You haven't bathed in weeks, you won't return anybody's phone calls and your family and loved ones are starting to worry about you. You need to face the facts, you sad, pathetic bastard. She's not coming back. Just get over it and move on already. She obviously has. Like, she physically relocated. She took the kids and moved to Ontario to live with her sister. What the shit are ya gonna do now? Jack dick, that's what. You know what you need? You need "whiskey-flavored, earnest, acoustic folk rock" from the likes of Shannon Hudson, John Mark Harmon and Mark Stevenson to get you through these lonely times and help pick up your spirits. You need that as well as lots and lots of actual whiskey. Whiskey "flavor" won't always do the trick.
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