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The Ten Most Badass Band Names in DFW

The Ten Most Badass Band Names in DFW
Mike Brooks

The best band names play upon the pop cultural lexicon, using reference to convey attitude or sound. The best ones do so subtly or unexpectedly, turning injustices or misconceptions in on themselves. I've gathered the 10 most intriguing and kick-ass of the rowdy and reckless DFW band names as an excuse to talk about the bands we love and what their names mean to me.

10. Bitch Teeth: I'm thinking of that scene in American History X , when Ed Norton stomps that guys head into the curb. Wait, what's wrong with me? Well, that guy lost his teeth and Edward Furlong was kind of a little bitch in that movie, so I guess it somehow makes sense. Start here: "Hey Asshole"

9. The Atomic Tanlines: In their world: We trade nukes, everything's blown to shit and only the roaches survive. Well, them and a few bikini-clad babes riding around on Harleys, toting guns and sporting the sickest tan lines in the apocalypse. Start here: "Skank Around"

8. Terminator 2: We're about to go back to the what? Ninties! So many beefcakes in that movie: Arnie, T-1OOO, Linda Hamilton. This is all about ball-busting exploding metal and that weird time you had sex with your best friend after too much box wine. Start with: "Methodic and Serpentine"

7. Bukkake Moms: Really? Do not Google. Start with: "Not Your Boner Bro"

6. Sealion: Such an underrated animal the sea lion is. I've always imagined the name was a thinly veiled reference to a girl, or a type of girl, that one of the members can't shake. Plus, listening to this band always reminds me of campy skits at the waterpark involving mischievous otters and sardonic walruses. It also makes me think of Jesscia Alba in Flipper. Start with: "Vails"

 

5. DEEP Throat: R.I.P. Mark Felt and Linda Lovelace. Start with: "Day Stripper"

4. Black James Franco: Is it because I can imagine James Franco doing blackface? Or even randomly showing up at one of their shows while on a college tour for The Broken Tower ? The most interesting man in mainstream arts has a divided base of hate him or love him followers. Start with: "Bossanova"

3. Brutal Juice: This on-again/off-again Dallas crew's handle refers to one of the most famous celebrity murder trials of the 20th century. If only these guys were given the exposure used on O.J.'s book releases/court proceedings/Kardashian smearings. Start with: "Bound For Glory"

2. Vulgar Fashion: Think: Abercrombie, boat shoes, pjs in public, leopard print anything, Khaki shorts, backwards baseball hats, Hollister, oversized jerseys, XXXL leggings, Forever 21, FUBU, golf shirts, Lynyrd Skynyrd bandshirts, house shoes, and popped collared polo shirts. Start with: "Golden Showers"

BrainGang: "What Ya Know" from Jeremy Biggers on Vimeo.

1. Brain Gang: N.E.R.D., knowledge, BJs, and zombies. These are not just things that the Dallas hip-hop outfits name bring to mind, they're also a few of my favorite things. Even better that they have referenced each through lyric or influence. Picture a gang of gold chain wearing Krangs. Start with: "What Ya Know"?

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