Can the Texas Rangers win the AL West again in 2016? Can they make a deep run in the playoffs? Can they go all the way? Well, one game into the season it may be a little early to figure that out, or to even know whether it will stack up to the fairy tale of 2015. But one thing's for sure: We'll get to listen to thousands and thousands of walk-up songs, which means six months of bad taste and clichéd decisions. It's never too early to pick the best of that batch.
10. Ryan Rua, LF: “Right Thurr” – Chingy/“Work” – Rihanna
You know when you include a song you dislike on a playlist only because you’re aware it’s massively popular, but later, when you’re listening to that playlist you hear that song and it makes you realize you should just trust your gut and not worry about what other people like? Maybe Ryan Rua feels like that about “Work.” Here’s an interesting statistic: Of all the times Rua has been hit by a pitch, how many of them have happened after he’s walked up to Rihanna? In terms of a good walk-up track, the Chingy song is on par with “Sabotage” and “Menea Tu Chapa,” but Rihanna drags Rua’s choices down toward the bottom.
9. Hanser Alberto, SS: “Te Amo” – Israel Houghton
Well, this song is about Jesus; if it bugs you, at least give Alberto credit for being true to his beliefs. It’s just as hooky as any other Latin jam on this list, plus there are some sweet horn parts scattered throughout.
8. Adrian Beltre, 3B: “Menea Tu Chapa” – Wilo D New
It’s probably adorable to see somebody’s parents, drunk on boomsticks, 16-ounce Shiners and afternoon fun, standing up and arrhythmically shaking their ass to this, at least. Points for repping home, though, Beltre!
7. Martin Perez, P: “El Toro Mas Pitador” – Miguelito Diaz
This song rules. But also, if you are near some racist loudmouth who makes jokes about Mexicans when Perez steps up to this, be sure to tell him or her that the artist is actually from Venezuela. Let us know how it goes.
6. Justin Ruggiano, RF: “Sabotage” – Beastie Boys
Nothing brilliant about walking up to this chestnut, but a classic is a classic. Most important, the sense of determined menace in that opening lick is a powerful thing to rally around.
5. Derek Holland, P: “Dark Knight Rises” – Hans Zimmer
Picking something from the soundtrack of a serious super hero movie is on par with every other wacky thing the Dutch Oven does, but Hans Zimmer’s score isn’t terribly interesting. What are you supposed to feel when you hear this? If Holland went with the theme to Terminator II, he’d be at the top of this list forever and ever.
4. Delino DeShields, LF: “Let’s Groove Tonight,” – Earth, Wind, and Fire/“Where the Party At” – Jagged Edge
Who wants to party? Is it you, Delino DeShields? Because these songs make us want to do whatever you’re doing, unless it’s bombing homers over the wall — you’re the pro, after all. We’ll just raise our beers and cheer for that.
3. Nick Martinez, P: “Time of Our Lives” – Pitbull
Say what you want about Pitbull (I tell people he’s short and bald), but this song sets the bar for a good walk-up song. It’s an uptempo banger about working hard, being broke and appreciating a night out. If there’s a non-John Mellencamp song made for the fans who save up for the cheap seats and stay to the end even when the 'Gers are getting destroyed, this tune is it.
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2. Shin-soo Choo, RF: “Regulate” – Warren G
You can’t be any geek off the street to walk up to this hot jam. Choo’s average last year was decent, and his at-bats per home runs number is solid. But even if he sucked, does anyone dislike hearing this song? You just can’t deny that Michael McDonald sample.
1. Prince Fielder, 1B: “Nuclear Warning System Siren”
This is still the funniest thing to hear at a Rangers game, at least until a suitable replacement for Hotdog Guy from the mid-to-late ’90s is found. And when Fielder hits big, this noise is the bomb.