Top 10 Most Erotic Christmas Songs
10. "Backdoor Santa," Clarence Carter
Believe it or not, Carter had a career before "Strokin'".
8. Little Drummer Boy
"Come, they told me..."? "...to lay before the King..."? How did they get away with that back in the '50s? Here's the Simpsons sisters' take.
7. "Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis," Tom Waits
Is there anything hotter than a down-on-her-luck junkie prostitute? In case you didn't recognize it, the lyric is a Charles Bukowski poem.
World Famous Gospel Brunch
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 10:30am
Bar Society Presents Local Vocals
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 4:00pm
The Brian Setzer 13th Annual Christmas Rocks! Tour
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 6:00pm
Kelsea Ballerini - The First Time Tour
TicketsTue., Dec. 13, 8:00pm
TicketsWed., Dec. 14, 7:00pm
6. "Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo"
This is the hottest song ever, if you're a fecalphiliac.
5. "Sexy Christmas Baby Mine," Morphine
Couldn't find video (although the mp3's yours by clicking above), so you'll have to use your imagination to see the mattress lying on the floor under a bare lightbulb in a filthy brownstone.
4. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," The Ronettes
This was originally recorded by a 12-year-old Jimmy Boyd, but here's a less irritating rendition.
3. "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"
There are several parodies of "I Saw Mommy..." with the obvious switcheroo. They range from the innocuous but still kind of weird concept of Mommy dressing up as Santa to a completely raunchy version that ends up in a Mommy/Santa/Daddy menage. This one is not quite so explicit.
2. "Dick In A Box"
When we gave this present last year, all we got in return was a restraining order.
1. "Baby, It's Cold Outside"
There are plenty of versions of this song, from great (Dean Martin) to not-so-great (Nick and Jessica). But only one features Zooey Deschanel in the shower.
--Jesse Hughey, Merritt Martin, Noah Bailey, Patrick Michels, Alex Flores
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