If I'd gotten that job as Sony Music Soundtrax pooh-bah like I should have, I'd have called this 14-song soundtrack to the second installment in what fun-loving humans can only hope will end up a many-part series Charlie's Angles: You're only likely to not find something you can dig if you're dead, or deaf, or you thought the movie sucked, in which case you'd better be glad I didn't get the job because I'd definitely fire you. Like Full Throttle itself--which is less a movie than a skate video masquerading as a video game disguised as a music video--this disc hurtles from diversion to diversion, avoiding boredom at all costs even as it risks alienating the three 55-year-olds left in the world who still think the album is pop's current commercial model; I'm pretty surprised they bothered including complete songs, since 40-second snippets would've better served McG's million-dollar schizophrenia. Plus, they could've fit, like, 100 songs on here that way!
As it is, you get hammy FM-radio reminiscence (Journey's "Any Way You Want It," Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend"), hammier FM-radio revisionism (Nickelback and Kid Rock's big-breasted "Saturday Night's Alright [For Fighting]," David Bowie's re-recorded "Rebel Rebel"), juicy disco memories (Andy Gibb's "I Just Wanna Be Your Everything," Donna Summer's triumphant "Last Dance"), juicier disco remembering (Electric Six's deathless "Danger! High Voltage," Pink and William Orbit's squishy "Feel Good Time"), canned hip-hop exoticism (Nas and Pharrell's "Nas' Angels...The Flyest"), singer-songwriter malleability (Edwyn Collins' still-great "A Girl Like You") and gratuitous remember-that-scene? flab (MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This"). If the 55-year-old sitting in my chair at Sony really wants to combat file-sharing, here's his or her user's manual.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Dallas, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.