In honor of the Ranger’s 30-3 ass-whupping last night of the Baltimore Orioles, ESPN has compiled a list of the “greatest beatdowns” in sports history. The Ranger’s epic win last night (which left the network’s resident seamhead, Tim Kurkijian, so giddy his voice was cracking as he broke it down) ranks eighth.
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Hard to put it ahead of Secretariat’s Belmont victory, in which he won by 31 lengths and left fans weeping in the stands, or the Bears' 73-0 demolition of the Redskins in the 1940 NFL Championship, in which, according to ESPN, “officials had to ask Bears coach George Halas to run or pass for the PAT on the team's final two scores because so many balls had been kicked into the stands.” If you’ve got some time, check out this clip of Lance Armstrong, which weighs in at No. 11. Doper or not, that guy was amazing. It’s a pity what he’s become. --Jesse Hyde