43 Things You Won't Find in the George W. Bush Library
The most interesting of the three institutions that comprise the sprawling George W. Bush Presidential Center at SMU is the museum, which is filled with artifacts from the former president's life. There's the bullhorn he used to address first responders from the rubble of Ground Zero in 2001, the windbreaker he wore during a secret Thanksgiving trip to Baghdad, a voting booth from Sumter County, Florida. There's even Decision Points Theater, basically a role playing game in which you get to play Bush as he decides whether to send federal help to New Orleans or invade Iraq.
But while curators strove to include both the successes and controversies, the collection is far from encyclopedic. Below is a list of things without which the museum will be woefully incomplete.
1. "Awesome Speech Your Holiness": A Video Installation
2. Dick Cheney's Original Heart
3. "Mission Accomplished!" Banner
4. A Wall That Looks Deceivingly Door-Like
5. A Ball Pit
6. A Glimpse into Vladimir Putin's Soul
7. A Sideways Elevator
8. Virtual WMD Locator
10. His Complete Mountain Biking Wardrobe
11. Miniature Replica of Post-Katrina Superdome
12. The Spittle-Covered Pretzel That Nearly Made Cheney President
13. Osama bin Laden
14. Axis of Evil Carousel
15. A Balanced Budget
"Right this way, sir."
16. A Tour Guide Named Lynndie
17. A Man Cave
18. This Authentic Chinese Wardrobe
19. Barney The Dog, Post-Taxidermist
20. Barbara Bush, Pre-Taxidermist
21. Uncleared Brush
22. John Ashcroft Karaoke
23. Definition of "Misunderestimate"
24. A Decent Cocktail
25. Crocodile Mile
26. The Shoe
27. Lipstick-Stained Napkin with Angela Merkel's Number
28. A Visit from the Goon Squad
29. Interactive Water-Boarding Exhibit, Brought to You by Evian
30. Complimentary Fro-Yo
31. Decision Points Theater Presents: Hello, Dolly!
32. His Oddly Competent Art
33. The Buffalo Wild West Wing Sports Book and Lounge
34. Frank Caliendo Five Nights a Week. (Not Expected Until Early 2014).
35. Laser Tag
36. Aaron Sorkin Scribbling Frantically
37. Enemy Combatants versus American Gladiators
38. W-Less Keyboards
39. Bush's Cheerleading Uniform
40. Bush's Air National Guard Uniform
41. One Unused Vietnam Uniform, Still Freshly Starched
42. The Pet Goat
43. Hammered Al Gore Wandering Around the Fake Oval Office Muttering, "It Could Have Been Me. It Could Have Been Me."
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