50 Signs You're Officially a Dallasite

Stop kidding yourself. You're home now.
Stop kidding yourself. You're home now.

Do you often arrive at a fast-casual restaurant and get pissed that they don't have valet? Do you feel cramped in your 3,300-square-foot house? Do you tell friends and relatives that Tex-Mex is better than Mex-Mex? And do you actually sort of believe it?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be becoming a Dallasite. Not sure? Here are 50 other signs to check for. If they sound familiar, please consult your realtor.

1. You're on a first-name basis with "Neiman's."

2. A nightlife photographer at a trendy event took your photograph but didn't include it in the final publication. Distraught, you vow to get breast implants.

3. You think downtown sure could use another parking garage.

4. You don't know what people mean when they talk about "walkable neighborhoods," but are pretty sure that the NorthPark Center is one of those.

5. You can circumnavigate White Rock Lake, but only through the power of spandex.

6. You have a heap of ashes in your fireplace that's mostly Tony Romo jerseys.

7. You think a half-hour walk from the nearest public transportation to your destination is "actually not that bad."

8. You have a hunch who Wylie H is.

9. You think you understand Upstream Color.

10. You have more than one drawer in your fridge devoted to Whataburger ketchup.

11. You reach for your hoodie when temps drop below 80.

12. You suggest adding chili to the ramen at Tei-An.

13. You see the words "world class city" and don't roll your eyes.

14. You have the Ticket preset on AM and FM.

15. You look forward to eating at the State Fair of Texas.

16. One or more parts of your body aren't biodegradable.

17. You append angry, expletive-laced comments to online lists of the "best" chicken-fried steak.

18. You have no idea what Italian food is supposed to taste like.

19. You're certain Deep Ellum was way cooler when you were 25 — no matter what age you now are now.

20. You've urinated outdoors near Greenville Avenue in mid-March.

21. Your monthly toll-tag charges are more than your car payment.

22. You think Escalade is the Spanish term for "compact car only."

23. You've chucked an empty beer can at a bicyclist.

24. You've insisted to your friends from out-of-state that "we're not all like that."

25. You've said the words "Frisco's actually pretty cool, you guys."

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