Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway opened today's Public Safety Committee meeting with a gift to his fellow committee members -- what appear to be candy-scented, hold the phone, rolling papers. As the city council members bumbled with tearing open what looked like metallic Airhead wrappers, Caraway name-dropped K2, the herbal incense your innocent 15-year-old is currently using right this second -- if, that is, your innocent 15-year-old is not already dead from the stuff. Caraway then revealed that these wrappers contained, in fact, drug paraphernalia.
The mayor pro tem, who's been looking to ban Black & Milds since January '09, introduced two dudes from the Cigar Association of America (hereafter, "Big Cigar," mmm), who are pissed off that some manufacturers are trying to pass off blunt wrappers as cigar wrappers. Big Cigar panties wadded.
Big Cigar leader says, "We don't want to be associated with a product widely associated with illegal drug use," and complains that manufacturers have the gall to put the same warning label on blunt wrappers that they do on cigar wrappers. Big Cigar panties could probably use a blunt to help unwad said Big Cigar panties.
Then Assistant Chief Louie Bright of Dallas Fire-Rescue presented, as they do here at City Hall, a PowerPoint update to the 2006 Bond Program. There were bullet points. Arial fontage. Descriptions of building new fire stations and updating old ones. Headers with abstract shapes around them drawing the eye's attention to key points.
Delia Jasso wanted more information on stations in her District 1. It was a totally boring line of questioning that I probably shouldn't even report back to you, but sweet jebus, here I've done it and the delete button is pretty far away. Then Tennell Atkins wanted to know, of a station in his district, if there will be "future repurrs," to which I assume he references the little-known practice of surrounding the station with incredibly happy cats, creating a kind of warm vibrating cocoon for firepersons. Helps with the sleeping, you understand.
Sheffie then made an excellent point in his short oral colloquium entitled, "Fire stations are important."
And then, said Caraway, "Let's get ready to have some fun."
Bobby Ross of DPD Fire Rescue began a presentation on bike medics, which he said are remarkably useful in crowded special event situations. Assuming, of course, Dallasites will know what they're looking at when they see a medic on these goofy two-wheeled contraptions those damned hippies keep bitching about.
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And then came the bike medics theirownselves!