Are You Drunk, Like, Right Now?

Those of you out there who religiously listen to Darrell Ankarlo (you know who you are, and, in all likelihood, you hate Mexicans) may have already heard of the Wingman, a Dallas-based superhero who rides a fold-up moped around the city in search of the drunk and wobbly. On the only morning I listened to Ankarlo (I was in his KLIF-AM studios doing a fascinating piece on him), he mentioned the Wingman and had him on the air, which was weird because it had nothing to do with Mexicans or gay people or others who deserve Ankarlo's hate and scorn.

Anyway, the Wingman just sent me a press release, and here's how his little business works: You get drunk. You or a concerned third party--a bartender, perhaps--calls the Wingman. A driver is dispatched from a "conveniently located hub" and arrives at your location on a moped in 20 minutes or less. The moped is then folded and placed in a custom-made carrier that fits nicely in your trunk. Once you arrive home safely in your own car, the driver unfolds his wee moped and zooms back to his hub or to the next location. For long deliveries, the Wingman uses interceptor vehicles, which I'm guessing is superhero talk for real cars.

Lest you think this is all a big joke, the Wingman has some stats to back up how serious he is about this entrepreneurial venture. In the eight months he's been in business, he says he's done hundreds of rides for almost 3,000 people. He says he's also endorsed by Mothers Against Drunk Driving and plans to expand throughout Texas and then the United States. So let's drink a toast to the Wingman...or 14. Who cares, right? He'll just pick us up. --Jesse Hyde


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