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Say it ain't so, Joe Ezeokeke. Because, really, if you can't take more than three ounces of liquid onto an airplane, what in the world made you think you could bring four kilos of cocaine onto a flight? Alas, that's just what the Nigerian citizen did on December 22 of last year, when he smuggled coke inside food canisters hidden in his carry-on as he attempted to board a British Airways flight from DFW to London. Notes the U.S. Attorney's media release, "Officers saw suspicious objects in an X-ray of one of Joe Ezeokeke’s checked bag." And, moments ago, a jury in Fort Worth federal court convicted him of one count of possession with intent to distribute more than 500 grams of cocaine. He'll get his punishment in September. --Robert Wilonsky