Do you dream of being a writer? Do you want to push the boundaries of language to bring new insight into the human condition with your amazing, creative prose? Well, good luck with your novel, pal. Now move on. You newshounds out there, take a look at this:
The Dallas Observer is looking for a news editor to join its award-winning reporting team. The ideal candidate will possess an instinctual knack for daily digital journalism along with a finely calibrated bullshit detector, the ability to write and edit quickly while maintaining high standards, and the energy and adrenaline necessary to break news and take names. This is a full-time, hard news position that includes a writing/reporting component. Experience in the DFW area is a plus. Serious applicants should email a cover letter, resume and clips to: email@example.com.
Let us explain. While we cherish great writing at the Observer, we adore badass reporters and editors who can find and tell a good story, use PACER, understand the difference between a fact and an opinion, track down a source and call anyone or knock on any door to ask uncomfortable questions that need answers.
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As for writing and editing, if you grasp that a story's lead belongs somewhere near the beginning, know the proper use of relative pronouns and believe that civilization began crumbling when the AP accepted "over" as interchangeable with "more than," you might be the person we're looking for. (If you think ending that sentence in a preposition is a grammatical error, go away. Same goes for you Oxford comma people. Shoo!)