If the Dallas City Council thought its baby-splitting compromise on single-use shopping bags (a $.05 cent fee, not a ban) could stave off the bagpocalypse of free market prophecy, they were sorely mistaken.
As Kroger rep Gary Huddleston eagerly explained to WFAA on Thursday, the consequences once the new ordinance goes into effect on January 1 will be dire.
"We've got a real concern with this new ordinance that charges a nickel per paper and plastic bag that customers may go into our [recycle] barrels to take out plastic bags to re-use them," he said.
The thought of all those grubby fingers rifling through bins in search of the now-precious polyethylene sacks is too much for Kroger, which Huddleston says will remove recycling bins from its eight Dallas stores.
It gets worse:
In addition, the new ordinance forces Kroger and other retailers to add signs, reprogram cash registers to account for the bags, train staff, and even reprint all of their bags to include their thickness on them.
Printing enormous blue "Kroger" logos on millions of bags is easy. Adding a tiny number to the design is a different matter entirely,.
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Worse still, cashiers who spend all day entering numbers into their register will have to enter another number into their register:
Plus, retailers worry check-out lines could get longer, since bags have to be added to your bill before you pay.
Basically, you should just start stockpiling goats for when Dallasites are reduced to bartering for sustenance.
Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.