Dallas Radio Yakker Wants Adrian Peterson to Play for the Cowboys

Shan Shariff, the world's foremost expert on Texas.
Shan Shariff, the world's foremost expert on Texas.

It's been a banner week for the DFW sports media brain trust. First, the Star-Telegram's Mac Engel told us why we were stupid for thinking Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was a child abuser just because he gone a little too far. Now we have Shan Shariff, a radio host on 105.3 The Fan, who actually wrote a column for CBS DFW headlined "Why Adrian Peterson Needs A Star On His Helmet."

See also: Star-Telegram's Mac Engel Says Adrian Peterson Just Got a Little Carried Away

To be clear, he doesn't mean that Peterson needs to have a special sticker on his helmet to warn teammates, opponents and fans they shouldn't let their kids near him. Shariff means Peterson should, after his inevitable departure from the Vikings, be signed by the Cowboys.

Beyond salivating over the on-field possibilities, Shariff, who is from Maryland, writes that Peterson should come to the Cowboys because Texans are more apt to accept violence against children than those in other parts of the country.

One wonders, reading Shariff, what exactly he thinks about the market he works in.

"'We believe and practice corporal punishment. We got Whoopins [sic], beatings, belts and switches administered like a bath at night. We agree and support your way of parenting Adrian. We get it, because it's the way we grew up. Come back home and finish your HOF career here. We would welcome you with open arms like no one else in the country," Shariff writes.

Maybe if Shariff gets his wish, the Cowboys could greet Peterson with a special Welcome Home, Adrian Day at Jerryworld, giving away free switches or a paddle branded with Peterson's mug that's guaranteed to work "All Day."

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