Dallas Weather: See You All Tomorrow For the #Stormpocalypse

I don't know if you can analyze weather like what I can (I also type good) but if you've even glanced at one of those funny colored-in maps they have out there on those weather stations, you'll be aware that tomorrow is going to look very bright. Bright in the...

By Gavin Cleaver

July 16, 2014

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I don't know if you can analyze weather like what I can (I also type good) but if you've even glanced at one of those funny colored-in maps they have out there on those weather stations, you'll be aware that tomorrow is going to look very bright. Bright in the brightly-colored map sense, not in the summertime sense.

What I'm trying to say is, we're all going to die.

Don't let the sun fool ya! We're on track for heavy rain after midnight through Friday AM. Flash Flood Watch issued: pic.twitter.com/pVXFtkYY1v
— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) July 16, 2014

"Don't Let The Sun Fool Ya" is also the title of St. Delkus' debut hip-hop album.

Heav rain ramps up after midnight tonight. One round in the AM...another in the PM. Messy commutes for some: pic.twitter.com/hpsM1EeiI8
— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) July 16, 2014

Now, you might look at this weather map thing and say, "but Gavin, it looks like Dallas will miraculously survive the #stormpocalypse!" and to you I have two things to say. One, try not to use hashtags in a sentence. Two, remember that storms have to move. Rain doesn't just teleport all over the shop, you ninny. Thus, none of us will actually survive.

Let's face it, we all knew the polar thingy was too good to be true. Join us tomorrow for a live blog if it's bad enough, and a conspicuous lack of an apology if the weather is just dandy. Until then, enjoy the ultimate harbinger of the impending #stormpocalypse.

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