We generally don't actively want to write about Glenn Beck, for more or less the same reasons we don't go around touching other people's cold sores. But sometimes, up there in his Southlake media fortress, the man does things that put us in the sad position of feeling obliged to listen to and occasionally transcribe portions of his radio show.
See also: Now You Can Wear Glenn Beck's Pants
But putting an Obama figurine in a jar of fake urine, as Beck did yesterday, didn't quite rise to the level of news. Beck said the stunt was to make some sort of point about the First Amendment, and that all the proceeds from the eBay auction of his masterpiece, titled "Obama in Pee Pee," would go towards a fund he created called Hope For the Holidays. (Apparently the "urine" was actually beer.)
Things got slightly more interesting an hour or so ago, when eBay pulled "Obama in Pee Pee" from their site. You'll never guess how Beck responded.
Why, with mock outrage and a vivid sense of being persecuted, of course. On his radio show, Beck explained that he created "Obama in Pee Pee" to respond to a painting by a guy named Michael D'Antuono which depicts Obama hung on a cross with a crown of thorns around his head. The painting, entitled "Truth," is showing at the prestigious-sounding Bunker Hill Community College Art Gallery; both Fox News and Beck's own outfit The Blaze somehow caught wind of it and have been hyperventilating about it all week.
The news that eBay had taken down "Obama in Pee Pee" seemed to fill Beck with glee. "You have got to be kidding me!" the host cried. "Is that the fastest action you've ever seen in your life? It's been up for 30 minutes."
Beck promised his PR department is "on it" and that he wants to "make a big deal" about the whole thing. A few minutes later, they received an email from eBay, saying the item had been removed because it contained urine. "Please do not re-list," the email added.
"I bet everybody on the left, they are so open, tolerant, they just don't like it when people complain about taking the image of the savior and putting him in pee pee, or making the image of the savior in elephant dung," Beck said. "You guys gotta get over yourselves. But the savior Obama in pee pee? That's just too far."
Beck adds that he now wants to book someone from eBay for his show tonight, in addition to "this stupid artist," meaning D'Antuono. He's also soliciting people on Twitter to help auction off his masterwork.
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At the end of a chortle-filled segment with his co-hosts, Beck held the jar aloft, with the Obama bobbing about inside. "This will not stand," he promised.
"It's a cause now," one of his co-hosts added.
For a few days, at least. Then Beck can get back to hawking gold companies and tearfully telling everyone to load up on firearms and farmland.
Update, 1:40 p.m.: eBay spokesperson Kari Ramirez tell us that "eBay prohibits the sale of items that include bodily fluid," and includes a link to their very detailed policies on human remains and body parts. The fact that the liquid wasn't actually urine doesn't make a difference, she adds: "The listing referenced bodily fluids, which is a violation of our policy."