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Gov. Perry: We Teach Creationism in Texas Public Schools. The Rest of Texas: No, We Don't.

Perry: See, this hair doesn't just happen!
Perry: See, this hair doesn't just happen!

How does one explain the follicle-by-follicle perfection of Gov. Rick Perry's imperturbable man-mane? Where does his mega-watt smile and its rows of pearly whites come from? Braces? No, silly. They come from God. God spoke, and Perry was born a man of uncommon comeliness. That, Friends of Unfair Park, is Creationism.

But contrary to what Perry is saying on the campaign trail, it isn't taught in Texas public schools.

At a New Hampshire campaign stop Thursday morning, a boy ushered to the front by his mother asked Perry if he believed in evolution. "It's a theory that's out there," Perry said, according to a CNN report. "It's got some gaps in it. In Texas we teach both Creationism and evolution."

Ok, so there are "gaps." Humans and chimpanzees have more in common with each other, genetically, than either does with gorillas. Whatever that means. We can debate that.

But not this, Elected Official With Whom The Buck Stops In Our Public School System. We do not teach Creationism.

We flirted recently with Intelligent Design, the next step in a Christianist retreat that basically cedes all that hard-fought territory to science, but insists an unseen, Market Force-style hand sparked life and continues to guide its progression. But the State Board of Education stepped back off of the ledge and jettisoned the submitted Creationist texts and the inter-species insecurities evinced in the state biology panel, which cringed at the comparisons in a Holt McDougal supplement on hominid skulls.

We don't live in a state where kids learn theology in biology class. Not yet, anyway.

Texas Freedom Network Prez Kathy Miller seems to believe the gaffe was calculated.

"Gov. Perry has once again waded into the culture wars for political gain, but without considering the harmful consequences. It is irresponsible for the leader of a state, or a presidential hopeful, to suggest to public school teachers that it is OK to teach creationism as science when such attempts have repeatedly been ruled unconstitutional by the courts, and could result in litigation against a school district," she said in a statement we received this afternoon. "And it is outrageous that Gov. Perry would erode respect for and trust in public education in Texas, simply in order to promote his political aspirations. Texans and Texas schools are working to prepare our children for college and 21st-century jobs. Gov. Perry's irresponsible comments wrongly suggest otherwise."

We think she's giving him way too much credit. Anyone wanna lay odds on Perry simply has no clue what we teach?


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