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Happy Opening Day. Let's Predict Some Stuff.

See more photos of last year's Opening Day in this slideshow.
See more photos of last year's Opening Day in this slideshow.
Mike Mezeul

Oh, it's a Good Friday alright. Maybe the best Friday, if you happen to have a job that allows you escape the cubical farm and head to the nearest TV-and-frosty-beer-equipped bar with your fellow farmers. (For bar suggestions, mosey here.) Going to the game? Well, then, it's an Even Better Friday.

In honor of this sacred day, we asked intern and Rangers fetishist Sara Blankeship to survey local Rangers media members about their expectations for the season. The results are still pouring (OK, trickling) in, and we'll update this as they do. (Come on, people; her grade, and her life, depends on it.) For now, as you see below, there's some consensus out there: 90-something wins, a trip to the ACLS or beyond, and a whole lot of tubed meat.

Make your own predictions in the comments, and may today exorcise the demons in your soul. Especially that handsome one who looks like David Freese.

Evan Grant, Dallas Morning News 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 94, am on record with that in the paper

2. How far will they go? They will beat the LA Dodgers in the World Series; that prediction runs in the Friday paper.

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season? I've always been told size doesn't matter, but bottom line is I'm a hot dog snob. If it's not Hebrew National or Nathan's I'll usually pass. Press Box pizza on the other, hand, I may down a pie or 10.

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 14.

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? I never endorse assault, but I'd be completely fine with a verbal beatdown of balk-calling, ballplayer-baiting Bob Davidson.

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Derek Holland

Their Game One closer? Joe Nathan

8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? Gold Gloves for most of the infield: Kinsler, Andrus, Beltre. Kinsler has a shot at MVP this year, I think.

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." I've already said this to my wife/girlfriend/blow-up doll.

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and why? Me. I have a definite case of self loathing.

*****

Kevin Sherrington, Dallas Morning News 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 95

2. How far will they go? ALCS

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season? Zero

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 14

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? (No answer, so we can only assume it's this guy.)

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Holland

7. Their Game One closer? Nathan

8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? ROY, Darvish

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." My wife would just assume I'm talking in my sleep, which, come to think of it, is the way she reacts to everything I say.

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and why? Yorvit Torrealba. He likes to walk into the clubhouse and start yelling for no apparent reason. John Wetteland was the same type. He used to fire fastballs into the metal lockers just to see how high we'd jump.

*****

Sean Bass, 1310 The Ticket 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 94

2. How far will they go? ALCS, hoping for the whole thing.

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season? Pizza guy here

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 17

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? Joe West, no question.

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Colbra Lewis

7. Their Game One closer? Joe Nathan - I hope.

8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? Adrian Beltre- Gold Glove, Jon Daniels-Bad Ass Motherfucker of the Year Award

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." I try to eat enough fruit to balance out the pizza. I'll say May 19th.

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and why? Kevin Turner. He abducts kids that look like Julio Borbon.

*****

TR Sullivan, MLB.com 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 92

2. How far will they go? Win the World Series

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season? Zero

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 15

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? (No answer, so we can only assume he thinks Torrealba will beat up too many umpires to name.)

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Darvish

7. Their Game One closer? Joe Nathan

8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? Darvish will win Rookie of the Year

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." The Press Box food at the Ballpark in Arlington is outstanding and extremelly healthy. My doctor would love me if I ate what they served at the Ballpark every day.

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and why? The television lady from Dallas who once insulted me to my face in New York one year.

***** Ty Walker, 1310 The Ticket 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 94 games

2. How far will they go? Win AL West, lose in ALCS to NYY

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season? When you put it that way, none

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 16

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? Joe West or John Hirschbeck

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Yu

7. Their Game One closer? Nathan

8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? None

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." NEVER

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and why? Ric Renner ... Just look at him ...

*****

Gina Miller, aka That Sports Girl 1. How many games will the Rangers win this season? 94

2. How far will they go? World Series. They beat the Phillies.

3. How many feet of press-box hot dogs will you eat this season?

Zero, can't do the dogs.

4. How many games will Yu Darvsh win? 14

5. It's virtually certain that Torrealba beats the shit out of an umpire this season. Who should it be? I guarantee he won't. Now, I wouldn't be shocked if he whooped up on a media person. Anyone BUT the great Evan Grant is a possibility. He's the Happy Baseball Buddha.

6. Assuming the Rangers make the playoffs, who will be their Game One starter? Derek Holland

7. Their Game One closer? Joe Nathan 8. What, if any, postseason awards will Rangers win this year? I don't think they get a single one. They're the definition of team.

9. On what date will you sit up in bed and say to your wife/husband/blow-up doll, "That's it -- no more press box food for me. It feels like there's a 32 oz. Louisville Slugger in my carotid artery." Not sure that will happen. Both husband and I have undying love for Wanda's press box chicken salad.

10. Who's your least favorite Rangers media personality, and Me. I can't stand watch myself on camera.


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