John Mayer -- Jessica Simpson's ex and, apparently, some kind of musician -- wants you to lay off Tony Romo's galpal. And, yes, I mean you. Why else would he lead off a blog item yesterday -- one titled, no less, "DON'T EX WITH TEXAS" -- with the salutation, "Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas"? Apparently, we're all being too hard on poor Jess, who's returning the favor with more direct-to-video releases than Blockbuster.
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Nonetheless, writes the Esquire columnist and brilliant Dave Chappelle sidekick: She loves Texas, so lay off. "So please don't try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn't be able to, but it's less work for all involved.)" Also, with all due sincerity: "I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this." I now like John Mayer. Still, though, not his music. --Robert Wilonsky