Just My Type

A woman should ask a man's advice about clothes? In what universe?

What an easy, breezy digital society we live in. E-mails and e-cards are composed without a second thought, off to their destination before we can say "bare minimum effort required."

Nobody sends real, live letters anymore -- nobody except those of us enjoying extended, largely involuntary, stays in guv'ment-funded criminal accommodations . (Thanks for the Christmas card, Uncle Jim!) So I knew when I got a postcard from one James Keithley of Dallas, he must've really, truly meant what he had to say. Hand-typed on recycled paper and complete with a Pike Expedition memorial stamp, Keithley's card hearkened back to an era of personalized correspondence composed with care, craftsmanship and, in Keithley's case, a fair bit of pissed-offery. In it, he expresses his concerns about my recent feature on personal shoppers, "Absolutely Fabulous." After the break, I've lovingly retyped his letter for your perusal, as I would hardly want Mr. Keithley's very tangible complaints to be in vain, lost on an e-mailing, blogging, MySpacing digital girl like myself. Please note that I've taken care to preserve the grammatical and stylistic liberties taken by Mr. Keithley.

Dear Andrea,

I read the February 22nd article titled "Absolutely Fabulous" in the Dallas Observer and it is the most asinine, stupid thing I have read in a long time.

I ask "Who in their right mind would pay an ugly, ugly old hag woman $200 per hour to help them pick out clothers. These experts are just a bunch of bovine hucksters preying on the innocent.

One would accomplish more by finding a classy man with excellent taste and going to an upscale store and picking out a better grade of merchandise. The better the fashion, the better the results. You get what you pay for. And why pay for an escort from the "Hog Patrol".

--Andrea Grimes


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