Just Say No...

The Dallas Observer is often incorrectly referred to as a "liberal" rag. We're not really; we just run sex ads, which makes us relatively well-paid, not necessarily liberal. You doubt Buzz? Well, smartyboots, we have in our hands an official Republican National Committee "census document" that seeks to delve into the minds of loyal GOPers. It was sent to an actual Observer staffer. We can safely say, based on a quick look at the questions, that we are firmly behind the RNC philosophy. Now, where's our capital gains tax cut?

Take, for instance, this question: "Do you agree that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?" Well, we thought about picking "no," but then we realized that someone needs to be able to read the special offers in those sex ads. While they're at it, the kids can read The Origin of Species or Silent Spring.

Or there's this one: "Should small businesses be encouraged to grow and hire more workers?" Of course. They should grow them in vats, using stem cells from discarded fetuses. Big yes there.

OK, so the questions were a tad leading. In fact, they led up to this: "Will you join the Republican National Committee by making a contribution today?" Buzz was encouraged to send at least $11 to cover the cost of "tabulating" the survey, or we could send no money and check a box that says, "No, I favor electing liberal Democrats over the next 10 years." Decisions, decisions...

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Blegh: Buzz is a fan of blogs (i.e., "Web logs," or online diaries) in the same way Buzz is a fan of saki: Most of them are wretched, but the few good brands leave you begging for more. So when we heard that The Dallas Morning News editorial board (nickname, "The Snore Corps") was starting its own blog (www.dallasnews.com/opinion/blog/), we were, how you say, horrified.

Now that Buzz has had a few days to peruse the blog since its inception last Sunday, we can say we were right and wrong (as usual). The blog is indeed tedious, but not because of the opinions. The ed board members show a lively side in their debates, arguing from conservative (natch) and liberal (heavens!) sides on various topics. No, the problem is its gawd-awful design (note to DMN Web designers: There is freeware out there that you can use to design intuitive blogs...find it, please) and the fact that, unburdened from their tight word counts, the DMN bloggers go on and on and on. Something we at the Observer know absolutely nothing about.

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