Late Charge

Never let it be said that Buzz be not smart. For we be. Vewwwy smart. For proof, look no further than the story this paper ran last week about how The Dallas Morning News killed a story that involved a groin-kickin' spat between well-known Highland Park charity types Bill and Angie Barrett ("Bill Due," April 25). Many loyal readers questioned why this paper would pick on these poor millionaires, conveniently missing the point that this was a story about newspaper judgment and influence--and that we're just plain mean. (To those HP wags who insist on e-mailing similar salacious gossip to Buzz, we are not going to print it, but keep sending it anyway; it cracks Buzz up.)

How do this make we smart? Because we have found a creative new source of funding for a needy charity. Follow along. Remember that the column in question argued that the Morning News did not print the Barrett story partly because the couple had pledged $250,000 over five years to the annual Dallas Morning News Charities drive. Well, now that we know what we're dealing with, Buzz figures it's time for Buzz Charities to cut a similar deal.

We were aided this week in our quest by The Family Place, which was going to buy a few big ads in this publication to promote a charity screening of Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones. Emphasis on was. This voicemail was left on one of our salesperson's phones. Buzz then secretly transcribed it late one night while accidentally listening to the entire staff's voicemail messages.

"Hey [salesperson], it's [name withheld to protect the innocent] at The Family Place. Um, we are not going to run an ad with you guys at this time. I apologize for not calling you yesterday, but one of our volunteers informed us of an article you guys wrote--I think it's on page 18 of this week's edition--and it has to do with The Family Place and one of our board members, Angie Barrett. So we are not going to run an ad with you at this time, maybe sometime in the future. I'll keep your name and number and definitely keep you guys in mind. Thanks, bye-bye."

Buzz now wishes to alert all area volunteers, who can then relay this to the appropriate parties: Buzz Charities is looking for a substantial five-year commitment in exchange for not continually bringing up stuff like this in print. The proceeds go to help Mrs. Buzz. Operators are standing by.