Let's Talk About Sharon Simmons, the 55-Year-Old Who Wants to be a Cowboys Cheerleader
That's Sharon in the pink. She's almost as pretty as RGIII.
Eric Garcia / Dustin Schneider
So by now you've probably seen or heard about 55-year-old Sharon Simmons, who tried out to be a Cowboys cheerleader. For some reason I hadn't heard of her, probably because I'm a Redskins fan and have been sitting in my bedroom with candles lit and YouTube on, looking at videos of RGIII.
If you're Jerry Jones -- we don't know if he decides the cheerleaders, but he probably should step in on a decision of this importance -- you have to be torn, right? Because let's talk straight about what we're looking at.
First of all, she's ridiculously hot. "Pretty" just doesn't suffice, and "handsome," as most women are called at her age, just doesn't apply. She's objectively and universally sexually appealing. If she's on the Cowboys roster, it's not too much of a stretch to think that Bravo, E! and maybe the HBO Hard Knocks crew are going to be in Arlington for the start of the season.
But let's break down the talent, per the DMN video found below. She looks lost at times. The kick is a little low, we think. She might be more at home, genre-wise, in a Richard Simmons video. That's not a dig.
But she's hot. Maybe even super-duperly so. Win or lose, God bless Sharon Simmons.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Observer's biggest stories.
- Dallas Police Chief David Brown Loses a Right-Hand Man
Thu., Feb. 11, 7:00pm
Fri., Feb. 12, 8:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 2:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 7:00pm
- Please Don't Kill the Nanny State Yet, at Least Not in Dallas. We Need Our Nanny.
- Houston vs Dallas: How Super Bowl Performers Stack Up