Lisa Garza, You Got Screwed. But At Least You're Going to Vegas.

So, this morning a Friend of Unfair Park shot us this video, featuring Suze's Lisa Garza on Rachael Ray last week. And, yes, it was indeed the same video featured on last night's episode of The Next Food Network Star. Only, as D's Nancy Nichols has already pointed out today,...

By Robert Wilonsky

July 7, 2008

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So, this morning a Friend of Unfair Park shot us this video, featuring Suze's Lisa Garza on Rachael Ray last week. And, yes, it was indeed the same video featured on last night's episode of The Next Food Network Star. Only, as D's Nancy Nichols has already pointed out today, it wasn't at all the same video featured on last night's episode of The Next Food Network Star. Not at all.

Because, see, in this footage, Garza doesn't appear to clam up for two solid minutes; in this footage, she doesn't look like Michael Scott; in this footage, she doesn't look scared to death. In this footage, she looks like anyone making their bow on live syndicated television -- a little shaky, a little scattered, a little cowed by a host who's more or less an ebullient bully and who had Garza's four fellow contestants to contend with as well. But Garza certainly doesn't look like a mute idiot. Which is why she's among the final four. Because she's anything but.

Sad part is, some members of our watching party insisted on replaying the Food Network's footage over and over, looking for the moment "when it took a wrong turn" -- kind of like it was a culinary Zapruder film. Only, this morning we discovered it was all fake. Just like the Zapruder film. --Robert Wilonsky

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