Thanks to themany
Friends of Unfair Park who've directed my attention tothis blog post from Kyle Killen
, the creator ofLone Star
, which,as we noted Tuesday
, is already in danger of being axed after but a single airing. Killen, a McSweeney's contributorway back when
, is desperate to get people to watch the low-low-low-rated not-soapy-soap, which is presently shooting in Dallas. So much so that Killen has taken to begging and bribing would-be viewers -- which, based on the comments and
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, seems to be working. Though only time will tell if and when the series can garner more than 4.1 million viewers when the second ep airs Monday night on the FOX.
An excerpt from his plea:
For us to survive we're going to have to pull off a minor miracle. Statistically, new shows tend to lose viewers in their second week. We're aiming to gain them. In fact, screw it, let's just double our audience. The good news is, our audience was so small that if my Mom AND my Dad watch it we'll pretty much be there. ...
I'm not going to beg. I'll mow your lawn or offer you some sort of sensual massage, but I won't beg. The truth is, what we need to do is nearly impossible. I've heard and read that a million times since Tuesday morning. But isn't that why we watch television? Sports? Movies? To, every once in a while, see something impossible actually happen? Impossible is AWESOME! Am I right? High five!
So here's the plan. You go deep. All of you. You and millions of your friends. And Monday night, down by a lot with only seconds on the clock, we'll throw the ball up, an impossibly long arcing pass into a host of defenders who are taller and flashier and stronger and probably more well endowed than all of us, and maybe, just maybe, it's one of those moments where the thing everyone said COULD NOT HAPPEN actually just... does. And you my friend, you could say you were there, you and all your friends, just taking one big Gatorade bath with the millions of people who, like you, decided to say 'F you' to statistics and just settle in for a damn good hour of television.