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Lucille Baller, the Rapping Dallas Police Lieutenant, Had a Bad Weekend

Last month, in one of the more bizarre stories to emerge from the Dallas Police Department in recent years, it came to light that the officer in charge burglary and theft detectives in the southwest and northwest patrol units, Lt. Regina Smith was moonlighting as a rapper using the handle -- and associated wardrobe and wig -- of Lucille Baller.

Smith's bizarre alter ego, apparently adopted in grief-stricken response to the 2009 death of her husband in the line of duty, demonstrated questionable judgment, but it was Lucille Baller's lyrics that got her suspended. It seems that DPD frowns upon officers making such public pronouncement as "Mess with me or I will shoot a motherfucka, cuz Lucille Baller, she been to hell and back," and "You see this bullet right here. I'll stick it from the rooter to the tooter and bring it out." All those have disappeared from the website of her record label, Big Rush In Global Media, which is currently "under construction."

We won't be sure until DPD's media relations office opens at 8:30 a.m. whether Smith is still on leave, but she at least remains on the force. That much was clear Sunday afternoon after Smith reported that her police badge had been stolen.

The reported theft was pretty cold-blooded. Smith told responding officers that she was placing a flower on her husband's grave at Restland Memorial Park when she heard a car door slam. Turning, she spotted a vehicle pulling away. When Smith returned to her 2010 Cadillac Escalade, she discovered that her $1,500 Burberry purse was gone, as was her Burberry wallet, Louis Vuitton makeup bag, iPad, iPhone, several credit cards, and $170 cash. And, of course, the DPD badge.

Smith apparently didn't get a very good look at the departing car, since she was unable to identify the make, model, color, or the direction it was headed. Which is good news for the thief. Otherwise, he might have found out what it feels for Lucille Baller to pull something from his rooter to his tooter.


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