We Americans are be ob-freaking-cessed with winning awards. There are the obvious accolades: Oscars, Heismans, Super Bowl trophies, Grammys. And then there are the less obvious ones that, amazingly enough, we strive for just the same. Like the "I have the grossest, messiest, most junked-up room in the history of gross, messy junked-up rooms thanks to my inability to clean up after myself like a normal human" award, of which a Hurst man is the proud recipient.
According to a press release received here at Unfair Park, new grandfather Don Springer's library was so littered with "loose papers, mismatched socks and empty potato chip bags," that the room couldn't be turned into a nursery for the new baby. So Springer "won" a contest sponsored by Dymo, a company that makes those little sticky label-makers people use to lay claim to things that probably don't belong to them.
Did Dymo invade every home in America, looking for the messiest room? Of course not. Springer himself decided to make his mess public in the name of holding on to wifey: "My marriage is suffering!" he wrote in an essay accompanying the submitted photo. The fabulous prize? A visit from McKinney's own "clutter queen" Jennifer Humes, who will be at Springer's house to get things organized this Saturday.
Way to be a slob, Don Springer! Live the dream, man. Live the dream. --Andrea Grimes
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