Oh, Spider, We Found Your Cocaine Jesus. Feds Got Him.

Not Cocaine Jesus, but can you imagine?

Courtesy The Smoking Gun comes the tale of the Cocaine Jesus. (Finally, a name for our new band!) And, yes, you can see where this is going: "Federal agents last week arrested a Mexican national for allegedly paying a woman to smuggle into the U.S. a statue that was made of a dried cocaine paste." And where was this statuary headed? It "was supposed to be delivered to The Spider in Dallas." Which is odd, because that's Jim Schutze's nickname around Unfair Park HQ. --Robert Wilonsky

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