Peso What?

The thing I like about Fox News is how reliable it is. I needed something to scare me into believing the country is being overrun with immigrants who will take away my American way of life and my unalienable rights to drink Bud Light and listen to Toby Keith. And...

By Robert Wilonsky

July 13, 2007

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18855504",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17105533",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105532",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105535",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

The thing I like about Fox News is how reliable it is. I needed something to scare me into believing the country is being overrun with immigrants who will take away my American way of life and my unalienable rights to drink Bud Light and listen to Toby Keith. And I got that something special this morning: Retail chain Value Giant is now accepting pesos as payment. You'll remember that Pizza Patron was derided for similarly defiling America.

Our America-hating Value Giant is located at what Wikipedia calls the "distressed" Southwest Center Mall -- which, of course, used to be Red Bird Mall. They're having some kind of ambiguous "promotional event" tomorrow to get the peso word out. The Fox article doesn't specify, leaving us only to imagine the most nightmarish scenarios as Value Giant further erodes our fine American traditions. Maybe they'll burn apple pies in effigy. I just hope they have leftovers. --Andrea Grimes

KEEP THE OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.