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Polar Vortex 2: Electric Boogaloo

A group of people who have just been told about the temperatures this week. USA! USA! USA!
A group of people who have just been told about the temperatures this week. USA! USA! USA!
Catherine Downes

That was a crap weekend, wasn't it? Well it was if, unlike me, you went outside at all. The outside is over for all of us until Texas bucks its ideas up. Guess what though? Texas is about to buck its ideas up.

Yes, even though there was only just a polar vortex/polar thingy the other week, this week we are to be treated to temperatures far below average again. Truly this is a wonderful time to be alive. It's something to do with a tornado off the coast, and a weather front, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy assembling a hammock so it's ready to go the second it's not horrific outside.

It was 103 degrees on Sunday. I think we can all agree that is cruel and unusual punishment. If only God had a constitution. Damn you, unconstitutional God. Haven't you heard about liberty?

Oh, and one more thing...

Dear this summer, please marry us. All of us. We don't want you to go away ever. Next summer your angry older brother will be back, and he treats us badly. Never leave.


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