Ready for the Dallas #Rainpocalypse?

An artist's impression of Uptown on Monday.
An artist's impression of Uptown on Monday.

Yes, tomorrow would be the perfect time to put the finishing touches on that ark you've been building for this exact circumstance, because come Monday we will all be living the reality Kevin Costner so boldly hinted at in his magnum opus Waterworld.

Two inches of rain means, remembering that I am a professional weather blogger, that you will be unable to walk anywhere without a really sturdy set of waterproof stilts come Monday, and that if you live anywhere near a river you should start digging around the edges of your house and inserting inflatables. Does anyone make a house-sized life ring? Would a house be able to remain upright on such wobbly foundations while floating? What was actually the plot of Waterworld, beyond that there is now an excess of water?

At least we won't be in drought any more, when we're all quickly building underwater houses and holding our breath to loot scuba tanks from diving equipment stores. Suburban lawns will be permanently watered, but I'd imagine people will still leave their sprinklers running all day.


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