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Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)
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The city of Lewisville has an uneasy relationship with Redneck Heaven, the local chain of Southern-themed breastaurants. On the one hand, it's a thriving business that boosts the local economy. "They have their niche in the market. They certainly know their target clientele, and they appeal to those people," explains James Kunke, the city's community relations and tourism director. On the other hand, the waitresses' generally skimpy attire, particularly during themed events like last week's (A)nything (B)ut (C)lothes, occasionally strikes residents as a bit too risque.

Technically, the no-clothes event complies with city rules, which require "a certain amount of coverage," Kunke says. "It says in the ordinance it has to be opaque coverage -- it can't be gauze or cellophane." Otherwise, an establishment has to be permitted as a sexually oriented business, of which there are currently none.

Lewisville police, after a thorough investigation last week, concluded that the body paint and other accessories covering servers' breasts and crotches at the (A)nything (B)ut (C)lothes event were, in fact, opaque. So, no violation of city rules. Tonight, the Lewisville City Council will consider whether to change that by excluding body paint, tattoos and body dye as acceptable forms of attire.

See also Extremely Drunk 21-Year-Old Arrested at Fort Worth's Redneck Heaven for Acting Like One Would Expect

This is the second time in as many years that Redneck Heaven has goaded the council into action. Back in 2011, a resident complained that servers were wearing only pasties to cover their breasts. Here's how Star Local News explained the decision:

The amended ordinance redefines "nudity or state of nudity" to restrict certain attire from being worn by wait staff unless the business has an SOB permit. The amended definition now includes the lower portion of a breast. It reads "nudity or a state of nudity is the appearance of a human bare buttock, anus, male genitals, female genitals or female breast; or a state of dress which fails to completely and opaquely cover a human buttock, anus, male genitals, female genitals or part of a female breast or breasts that is situated below a point immediately above the top of the areola."

But the current proposal is much more sweeping and will have a tremendous impact on how Redneck Heaven conducts business. Here are just a few examples of things that will no longer provide adequate coverage of nipple/breast/buttocks/crotch:

Pokemon

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

 

Confederate flags

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Real Gumballs

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Pretend Gumballs

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

 

Goldfish

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Peacock Feathers

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Superheroes

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

 

Biblical Allusions

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Seussical Allusions

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

Bill Murray and Edgar Allen Poe's Love Child

Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts Run Afoul of the Good People of Lewisville (NSFW)

We could go on. Needless to say, if the measure passes tonight, there will be fewer reasons to visit Lewisville.


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