Rick Perry Pulls Out All the Stops for His Addison Presidential Announcement
A couple of weeks ago, former Texas Governor Rick Perry's wife, Anita, announced that her husband had something very important to tell all of us on June 4 in Dallas: He's going to run for president, again. (It was a pre-announcement announcement, not an announcement-announcement. Just try to act surprised today.)
In the interim, we've heard all the reasons why 2016 is going to be different from Perry's first presidential run in 2012, also known as The Big Oopsapalooza. Perry wasn't going to completely embarrass himself this time because he was going to buckle down and really try, according to information carefully disseminated to the likes of Politico. He's not coming off a back surgery, unable to remember which parts of the federal government he wants to dismantle. He's spent the last three years studying and, most important, he's started wearing smart-guy glasses, like Mr. Peabody. On a bad day in Iowa next year, look for him to break out a pipe and tweed coat with elbow patches. This is Perry 2.0, the guy who's going to get his full roll out in ... well not actually Dallas ... but at Addison Airport, later today.
The guest list for Perry's shindig — free tickets are available on Eventbrite — tip the governor's hand. This campaign is going to be built around Perry's post-Vietnam Air Force service record, which isn't a terrible move considering Lindsey Graham's the only other Republican running who's been in the military. Four current or former Navy SEALs, a retired U.S. Navy explosive ordnance disposal technician, a retired U.S. Marine Corps captain and "American Sniper" Chris Kyle's widow, Taya Kyle, will all join Perry onstage in Addison.
"I'll proudly stand with one of the great leaders this state and country have ever produced: Rick Perry," Kyle said in press release from RickPac, the Perry-promoting political action committee that raises money by selling T-shirts emblazoned with Perry's mugshot.
Those bastards didn't let him wear his glasses
Perry remains under felony indictment in Travis County for abuse of official capacity and coercion of a public servant. If nothing else, having a few SEALs and an explosives expert as pals might come in handy for the former governor, should things go badly with his criminal case and he need to make a fast exit.