Rock Star 101: Know Thy Cr?e, GNR and Metallica
Every time Rock Star: Supernova host Brook Burke says "the world's best unsigned rockers," I throw up in my mouth just a little bit. The last two weeks have been a horrible showing for what the world has to offer Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted as their new lead singer. And don't they know it. Last night's episode had more insults, back-handed compliments and horrified expressions than downloads of Tommy and Pam's sex tape...OK, maybe not that many, but there were a lot. And a good number of them happened on Dallasite Zayra Alvarez's watch.
Alvarez, in a black catsuit (yes, someone still wears those) performed a numbingly off-key, trying-to-be-trippy re-arrangement of The Kinks' "You Really Got Me." During the song she garnered not only dumbfounded looks from Supernova, but also laughter and even a few elbow shoves from her fellow contestants. Then came the critique. Clarke gave her apparent props for giving her all to the performance but switched gears when he said, "I don't think you have a clue of what we're looking for in a singer." Alvarez replied with, "You haven't told me." Then she did something more embarrassing than her Kinks massacre. When asked if she even owned any of Clarke, Lee or Newsted's albums, she spouted off with an asinine, "I've heard of your music." And then she went so far as to shout over the crowd's boos that she "was in diapers when that was out." Nice work, Zayra. Heard of? Motley Cr�e?! Guns N' Roses?! Freakin' Metallica?! You live in Dallas, babe. Practically every rock station here has played all of those bands since noon today. Why would you say that? Even if you think the show is stupid and you don't want the gig, why make yourself look so incredibly ignorant? And why in hell were you wearing a catsuit?!
Too harsh? Well, I'm not the only one. As of the end of the show, the sneak-peek at viewer votes showed Zayra in the bottom three. Rock Star: INXS's winner, JD Fortune, had it down: Be arrogant all you want, but show the band respect. They're the reason people nationwide know who you are now. And I'm calling it now: Dilana and Wilonsky-hater Patrice for two of the final three. Haven't made up my mind on a fella. --Merritt Martin