Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em, Dallas Guys

Who wouldn't love a guy who smelled like one of the best restaurants in town?

As the mayor of upscale

Oak Cliff barbecue joint Smoke

on the


smartphone app, I feel especially qualified to weigh in on the latest

sales-science attempt from Axe

, the grooming product line for men that like to smell like nervous 12-year-olds. According to a "

scent expert

" enlisted by the Unilever brand, Dallas women like their men to smell like smoky fire-pits. Which I won't turn my nose up at --

oh my, but I am hilarious

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-- because I do love a warm camp fire, cold beer and frosty evening out in the woods with my man o' the hour.

However, the overall results from this no doubt very highly scientific study make you wonder if Axe didn't just ask Dr. Alan "Scent Expert" Hirsch to play word-association with cities and smells and slap something down in his notebook. New York women apparently like coffee-scented dudes, while San Diego women seem to prefer sun-tan lotion, and Houston women the sweet aroma of barbecue. But wait, there's more rocket science to come, per the study:

  • Dirty little secret: One in four girls will wait anywhere from two weeks to a month before washing their sheets in order to keep their guy's scent close
  • Father doesn't know best: 56 percent of girls say they won't date a guy who smells like their dad
  • Guard your belongings: One out of two girls admits that she has committed theft by stealing an article of clothing from a guy to smell when he's gone and nearly 60 percent of girls sleep in their guy's clothes because they like his lingering aroma
  • Need proof of how scent and memory are intertwined? 60 percent of girls still remember the smell of their ex's cologne

Riveting. So Axe apparently also determined that women like the way the guys they date smell and don't want to go out with a guy who smells like their father. If you needed Axe to tell you these things, well ... you probably wear Axe.

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