On Monday night, a fully laden 7-Up trailer, much like the one you see above, vanished from the the Dr Pepper bottling plant in West Dallas. It simply disappeared. No trace. One minute it was there, the next it was gone.
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So stealthy was the disappearing act that employees didn't discover it until hours later. By the time police were dispatched just before 3 a.m. today, they had discovered, presumably with the help of surveillance footage, though a police report doesn't say, that the situation wasn't nearly so mysterious as it had at first seemed.
According to Dallas police, a white tractor drove into the bottling plant parking lot, hooked up to the 7-Up trailer, and drove away.
The DPD report provides few other details, other than to note that the stolen trailer is one of just three of that design in existence, so feel free to make up your own back story, maybe an orphan who survived the mean streets of Dallas by purloining cans of 7-Up from vending machines, expanding his operation until he controlled a sophisticated black market empire trading exclusively in 7-Up.
The Dallas heist was going to be the pinnacle of his career. Then, he opened the trailer. Nothing but Monster energy drink, $50,000 worth. He allowed a single tear to roll down his cheek, its bitterness undiminished by the lemon-lime sweetness that years of 7-Up has infused into his tear ducts.