The Tea Party Will Use "Gandhi-Style Tactics" to Battle Fascist Pro-Choice Mobsters
The narrative that's emerged on the right in the wake of the defeat of sweeping anti-abortion legislation this week isn't that Senator Wendy Davis jiu jitsued a victory with a Frank Capra-worthy filibuster. Rather, it's that the democratic process was hijacked by an unruly mob of out-of-state agitators whose cacophonous applause in the waning minutes of the special session made it impossible for the Senate to conduct business. That's a much better fundraising pitch than, "Man, we really effed that one up."
The general consensus is that, when a second special session starts Monday, Republicans won't make the same mistakes. Democrats will fight, but the 20-week abortion ban and the strict facility standards that will force all but five of the state's abortion clinics to close will become law. There are simply too many votes for it not to.
But the North Texas Tea Party isn't just getting up for a legislative battle. They're gearing up for war.
The group dispatched a thoroughly fascinating call to arms this afternoon, warning supporters that liberals are planning to bring "full mob rule" to the Texas Senate next week and asking members to "defend representative government."
We've posted the bulk of the document below, interspersing quick fact checks at appropriate junctures.
Gear It up, Folks! Most of you know about the debacle in the State Senate last week where mob rule shut down representative government to block passage of some VERY REASONABLE requirements surrounding abortion (requirements that are supported by 62% of Texans polled). Well, the liberals, led by Occupy and socialist organizers (as well as the pro-abortion groups) are going to try to shut down our government for an ENTIRE MONTH to impose the will of their mob (as opposed to the will of the actual VOTERS) on Texas.
Fact: Liberals actually love government, but only when its giving them stuff. They're trying to shut it down because it wouldn't pay for their burnt orange T-shirts (more on that later).
Here is a report on some recon on the other side: "Just told by a little birdie to expect Occupy tactics next week that will attempt to shut down and intimidate the Capitol, akin to Wisconsin -- that there are indications of large bus/transportation coordination as well as logistics support in the form of food trucks, etc. This must not stand! COME AND TAKE IT!"
Fact: Food trucks are a vital part of the liberal army's supply chain. Without a steady stream of gourmet empanadas and mobile sushi, the foot soldiers wither into nothingness.
They are going for an occupation to shut down our representative government of the ENTIRE special session. Next week we may need LOTS of coordination of a response. This will be lots people coming in from out of state to take control of OUR state government. This is no longer about abortion folks. This is an attempt to institute liberal fascism.
Fact: "Liberal" and "fascist" are the same thing. The redundant "liberal fascism" is a rhetorical device to highlight just what fascists these liberals are.
Jodie Laubenberg, who was our Iron Lady of the House, is again guiding efforts in terms of the specific bill. She tells us that the hearings start Tuesday afternoon (but getting there earlier the better). THEY NEED PEOPLE THERE TO TESTIFY IN SUPPORT OF SB5, (the bill is here, but basically, it requires that abortion centers meet the same clinical requirement you would expect of ANY day surgery center, and places a 20-week limitation on abortions for any purpose; 5 months is PLENTY of time to make a decision. Late term abortions would ONLY be allowed for true medical need.) People who go to testify should be articulate, knowledgeable, calm and able to deal with hostile questioning.
Fact: Liberals blackmailed medical professionals to say that Laubenberg's claim that rape kits "clean out" victims and keep them from getting pregnant is false. They totally do that.
Blue is the color to wear to group right (The other side is going with burnt orange, so they can flood it with local college kids.)
Fact: Blue is the color of freedom. Burnt orange is the color of Satan.
[W]e need objective video of the insanity of the mobsters, which was quite lacking last time.
Fact: Liberals are rabid ideologues who will stop at nothing to murder unborn children.
We practice Gandhi-style tactics here folks; IRON-CLAD self-discipline, PEACEFUL, CALM, INSISTENT! Let the other side show their lunacy. Come informed about the bill; read it over the weekend.
Fact: Gandhi hates liberals.
This is an attempt to shut down our legislative process. We must defend that which so many bled and died on the battlefield for. But here we must defend it PEACEFULLY and calmly.
Fact: You can still bring your concealed handgun into the Legislature, just in case.
For tea partiers unfamiliar with Gandhi-style, here's a tip: IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THIS. DO THIS.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Observer's biggest stories.
- That's It Then: The Cowboys 2015 Season Gets Put Out of Its Misery
- The Cowboys' 5 Biggest Thanksgiving Turkeys
- Live From London: Your Holiday Weekend Weather Apocaforecast