Couple years ago during a rain delay at the U.S. Open tennis tournament in New York I was chatting in the players’ lounge when I nonchalantly reached for a piece of fruit on the lavish buffet. Simultaneously, and just as casually, Anna Kournikova made a play for the same phallic produce.
As our hands briefly touched, so was born the greatest lead in the history of my modest sportswriting career:
“Anna touched my banana.”
Actually, now that I think about it, “Anna Kournikova grabbed my balls” was pretty special, too.
Point is, one of the hottest female athletes to ever tickle our testosterone will be in our midst this weekend. Commence sweaty palms.
Former No. 1 Jim Courier and 3-time Wimbledon champ Boris Becker will also be at SMU’s Turpin Stadium for the seniors’ tour Stanford Championships beginning today, but all eyes will be fixated on Kournikova on Saturday as she plays exhibition mixed doubles matches at 1:30 and 6:30.
When I hit with (and on) Anna in Frisco a couple years back, my bucket list was pretty much finito. Flimsy resume be damned, she tops my list.
Here’s suggesting you s-l-o-w-l-y examine my rankings. Then, if you just must tamper with perfection, feel free to flag the faults:
10. Danica Patrick, auto racing
9. Florence Griffith-Joyner, track
8. Maria Sharapova, tennis
7. Amy Acuff, high jump
6. Heather Mitts, soccer
5. Natalie Gulbis, golf
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4. Amanda Beard, swimming
3. Sasha Cohen, figure skating
2. Jennie Finch, softball.