Unsocialized: 2015's Texas Social Media Wrecks

The dearly departed @fauxmayormike destroying the Continental Bridge Park with his eyes.
The dearly departed @fauxmayormike destroying the Continental Bridge Park with his eyes.
@fauxmayormike via Twitter

The best thing about the incessant deluge of crap to which we are now subject thanks to Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Gmail push alerts, Google alerts and Instagram, among many, many others, is the daily occurrence of something untoward, accidental or just silly slipping past a public figure's social media goalie. Then there are the goofballs, like @fauxmayormike, who graced us with his profane, pizza-loving and bridge-destroying Twitter presence just in time for Dallas' 2015 municipal elections, who are doing this stuff on purpose and those, like Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, who just don't know any better. It's truly fertile ground.

Here's 2015's best social media from Dallas and around the state of Texas: 

Good Ole' Sid
In addition to the thinly veiled call for the nuclear annihilation of the Middle East linked above, the Ag Commissioner also compared refugees to rattlesnakes and suggested he'd slap anyone who wished "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." Happy Holidays, Sid. 

Dallas ISD Trustee Fights a Figment of Our Collective Imaginations
Dallas ISD Trustee Joyce Foreman spent a weird Sunday morning this spring in an involved, lengthy Facebook argument with someone who doesn't exist. After Wylie H, the anonymous civic muckraker who is not corporeal, no matter how much we wish it was so, posted a link to an article from D Magazine that was critical of Foreman and other Dallas ISD board members, Foreman hopped in the comments. That's fine, but she then started arguing with Mr. or Ms. H. It was odd enough that Foreman later deleted the exchanges, but it was probably a good call.

Unsocialized: 2015's Texas Social Media Wrecks

Jason Villalba Gets His Socialisms Mixed Up
During the first Democratic presidential debate, Dallas Republican state Representative Jason Villalba insinuated that Bernie Sanders — and much of the Democratic Party — have a lot in common with Nazis. He'd delete the tweet, but here he is going full Godwin's Law:

Unsocialized: 2015's Texas Social Media Wrecks

Dan Patrick's Headline Fail
Following the San Bernardino shootings, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick was offended by a New York Daily News cover that he felt made light of lawmakers who said they were praying for shooting victims. Someone on Team Patrick hastily threw together a re-worked cover, one that probably could've used a bit more thought and a bit better wording: 

Unsocialized: 2015's Texas Social Media Wrecks

The Star-Telegram Thinks Orgies Are Funny
In the midst of the on-again, off-again, will he, won't he, DeAndre Jordan to the Mavericks free agency saga, the intrepid individual running the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's Twitter account retweeted a rather amusing joke about Mavericks forward and Jordan entertainer Chandler Parsons and something called an "orgy suite."

Unsocialized: 2015's Texas Social Media Wrecks

Abbott Jinxes the Astros
On Monday afternoon, October 12, Texas Governor Greg Abbott congratulated the Houston Astros on advancing to the American League Championship Series. Which would've been nice if the 'Stros weren't still two innings away from closing on the Royals in Game 4 of the American League Divisional Series. The Astros lost 9-6 after leading 6-2, then lost Game Five in Kansas City in being eliminated by the eventual World Series winners.

George P. Bush Bans Comic Sans
It was April 1, but the Texas General Land Office sold it well. Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush was serious about banning the Comic Sans font from the office. The next day, the office backed off, but it was fun while it lasted.

Caraway Campaigns at the Dentist
Erstwhile Dallas City Council member Dwaine Caraway might be the hardest working man in Dallas politics. That hasn't stopped since he decided to take on John Wiley Price for the longtime incumbent's Dallas County Commissioner's Court District 3 seat. He never stops working, even at the dentist.

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