Jessi Klein's "Walk of Shame Shopping" article in Paper this month tells the women of New York City where to buy last-minute pre-work clothes after a night of shacking up. Why should the sexually satisfied ladies of Dallas not have a similar guide?
First, for the unititiated:
Shacking up: (n) Spending the nighttime hours preceeding a work day in the home of a person you have probably known for less than 24 hours and in whom you are temporarily romantically interested. Involves little to no pre-planning, leaving the shacker stranded at the shackee's home with the same clothes he/she was wearing yesterday. Inevitably the shacker will awake with approximately 30 minutes to arrive at his or her place of employment, and, inevitably, the shackee's place of dwelling will be approximately 20 minutes away from the shacker's place of employment, with no logical route to the shacker's place of residence. Resulting dilemma: What the hell do you wear to work the next day so that people don't realize you've been getting your hook-up on?
Here are some stores that open early enough so you can be changed and at your desk by 10 a.m.:
If you're headed to work in Oak Lawn, Uptown or downtown: Target at Cityplace opens at 8 a.m. every day, and God bless Luella polos that work with everything. The Greenville Ave. Goodwill opens at 9:30 a.m. Suggestion: Throw on a vintage tee with your pencil skirt or khakis, and you're not dingy--you're hip. Note: Keep a spray bottle of perfume in the glove compartment to combat the unmistakable eau de thrift.
If you're headed to work in Plano, Richardson or anywhere along LBJ Freeway: Old Navy on Preston in Plano opens at 9 a.m. Bonus: They've got a, um, maternity section. The Ross at Marsh and Forest opens at 9:30 a.m., and this location carries fine jewelry.
If you're headed to work in Addison: You have no soul and therefore very little need for a change of clothes. --Andrea Grimes
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Hate Our New Comment System? Just Make a Burner Facebook Account.
- SCOTUS Talked about UT Admissions Behind Closed Doors Thursday. Tuesday We Learn What...
- Dallas Animal Services to Partner With Lost Dog App to Help You Find Fido