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Westboro Baptist Will Protest Glenn Beck's Rally, and the World Will Fold in on Itself

Here's one way Glenn Beck fans can fight back against Westboro Baptist Church when it protests "Restoring Love" on Saturday.
Here's one way Glenn Beck fans can fight back against Westboro Baptist Church when it protests "Restoring Love" on Saturday.
Stephen Masker

We're still not certain what Glenn Beck means when he says he'll be "Restoring Love" at Cowboys Stadium on July 28. Truth be told, we're a bit terrified to find out, which is yet another reasons Unfair Park will steer well clear of Arlington on Saturday. (Editor's note: Actually, Eric, we're planning team coverage. Clear your schedule.)

The same can't be said for the reasonable, God-fearing folks at Westboro Baptist Church. You know them from their tireless work telling you about how much God hates fags, Jews, dead soldiers, Obama, football, and innumerable other things equally deserving of Gomorrah-style wrath. They will be waving signs outside Cowboys Stadium on Saturday to protest Glenn Beck, the restoration of love, and God knows what else.

Beck, it seems, is insufficiently bigoted. Or maybe he is sufficiently bigoted but unwisely chose to be bigoted against God's earthly bulwark against the unrighteous, Westboro Baptist Church. The church's website explains it thusly:

Glenn Beck despises God, and he proudly says so. He climbs on WBC backs to have an issue for his radio program.

God has Smacked Glenn Beck already, giving him a little child with disease, but that doesn't even slow Beck down. He is wholy incapable of seeing the Hand of God at work in this earth, and he flatly refuses to give the Glory of God's work, TO GOD! He worships Mr. Peanut, a god that has no power, and worse.

WBC will be at Cowboys Stadium where Beck will be inside hocking his false religious system and his rebellion against God to some other rebels agianst God, and we will warn the living to flee from that place, lest you should become a partaker of Glenn Beck's sin.

It's enough, no doubt, the leave Beck's handlers quivering like chilled Jell-O, wondering whether to simply scrap the whole "Restoring Love" thing. It was such a ridiculous idea to begin with and now with Westboro crashing the party...

Never fear. There is a vaccine that has now proven effective against Westboro. There need only be a spontaneous upwelling of camaraderie in which the Glenn Beck faithful link arms and form a human chain around Cowboys Stadium, barring the hatred outside from disrupting the restoration of love within. Or, you could just have an interracial gay couple make out in front of them.


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