What, No Kenny Wayne Shepherd?
We get a lot of, pardon, nutty mail at the paper version of Unfair Park--mostly from prisoners, some from concerned citizens, much of it from people with way too much time on their hands. One of those folks last week sent us a rather impressive collection of clippings, most from The Dallas Morning News. Each Xeroxed story has one thing in common: the name of a accused or convicted felon that's been highlighted in yellow.
I thought, well, since it's Slow News Wednesday around here as we try to finish our Best of Dallas issue that hits stands next week, I would share with you the contents of this package. I do not think it will take you long to figure out the connection between these local stories, which date back to February 2006. (Why then? No idea.)
February 2, 2006: Bruce Wayne Potts, 34, is charged with the murder of Sharon Elizabeth Witherspoon, who was stuffed in a hole in a wooded area in east Oak Cliff.
February 2006: Eric Wayne Kelley, 40, a fugitive arrested after a traffic stop, is charged with rape and distribution and possession of sexually explicit material involving a child.
March 2006: Nathan Wayne Green, 26, is added to the Dallas police top-10 list of most-wanted criminals after beating his girlfriend for two hours while driving. On March 18, Dallas police question Green about the murder of Anthony Green.
April 13, 2006: Ronald Wayne Spencer Jr., 19, is arrested in Richardson in connection with the killing of three members of a family near Hallettsville.
No date: David Wayne Rhodes, 40, is sentenced to 10 years of probation and fined $8,000 for practicing nursing without a license.
No date: Larry Wayne King, 47, is accused of shooting a man at a Highland Village apartment complex.
April 21, 2006: Joshua Wayne Jones, 31, an escape convict from Colorado, is arrested in McKinney after attacking a police officer during a traffic stop.
No date: Paul Wayne Mitchell, 54, is wanted by police on charges of theft.
No date: Michael Wayne Hills, 47, is wanted by police on charges of theft.
No date: Jeremy Wayne Hopkins, 22, is a University of North Texas student charged with the stabbing death of a friend visiting from Amarillo.
July 8, 2006: David Wayne Jones, one of the most notorious child molesters in Dallas history, faces a return to prison after prison officials say he violated his parole for, among other things, contacting with a Dallas Morning News reporter and attempting suicide.
No date: Billy Wayne Boyer, 26, is arrested for attacking a Keller woman whose house he treated in the day for pests. Seriously.
June 13, 2006: Kenneth Wayne Downs, 39, a former nurse accused of sexually assaulting a partially paralyzed stroke patient in a south Fort Worth hospital, tells jurors who found him guilty, "Just let me rot in jail because that is what my life is worth now."
July 28, 2006: Charles Wayne Thomas, 22, is arrested in connection with the shooting deaths of Lendl Carey and Kenneth Haggerty at El Angel in downtown Dallas.
June 29, 2006: Jerry Wayne Lucas, 57, shoots his boss at Fort Worth Carrier and turns himself into police.
August 7, 2006: Tony Wayne Swinnie, 34, is charged with attempted capital murder after his brutal attack on a North Waco liquor store owner is caught on tape. Swinnie is from Grand Prairie.
August 21, 2006: Richard Wayne Miles, 25, kills himself after he shoots three police officers and a state trooper in Midlothian.
Incidentally, our friend who sent this package also included copious clippings featuring folks with the middle name "DeWayne" and "Duane" and other variations of same; ain't enough room in the blogosphere for all those people. And, by the way, this is something Chuck Shepherd once covered in News of the Weird, which we used to run in the paper version of Unfair Park years ago. Guess this phenomenon, like most great American standards, never gets old. --Robert Wilonsky
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Observer's biggest stories.