Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Not only should Dirk Nowitzki be on the first-team All-NBA squad and a legit MVP candidate, he'll be unstoppable against the Spurs. San Antonio has its nucleus back - Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker - but gone is antagonist Bruce Bowen. Despite his critics claiming Dirk shrinks in the playoffs, he'll average at least 25 points and 10 rebounds. Like he always does.
*Considering the Rangers' woeful start at the plate, you think Rudy Jaramillo is secretly snickering? Me too. I know it's early, but Texas has already pissed away three wins into losses. Blown saves in the 9th inning and yesterday's horrible hiccup when Michael Young and Elvis Andrus kicked consecutive errors. Look at it this way, it'll take three walk-off wins to balance the scales. Not good. You have to be heartened by the starting pitching though, right? I guess Mike Maddux is a miracle worker after all.
*If you're looking for a driver to root for this weekend out at Texas Motor Speedway, search no further. Kevin Conway will drive the No. 38 ExtenZe car. He's the leading rookie driver and, more importantly, his team is honoring a Texas hero. In Conway's box, on his pit crew and the recipient of a $1,000 check this week is Robin De Haven, an Iraq war veteran who on Feb. 18 grabbed a 20-foot ladder from his truck and rescued six people from the burning IRS building after a plane smashed into it. Considering the failures of Ron Washington and Ben Roethlisberger, etc., it's nice that real role models get their 15 minutes of fame.
*The Tea Party makes me laugh. Saw some of these folks dressed in patriotic garb yesterday and found it quite ironic. Bunch of grumpy, greedy, generalizing white folk
determined obssesed more with advancing their personal fortune rather than helping their country turn the corner. There is an i in America. Just ask 'em.
*This, my friends, is why people tune in to watch Dale Hansen. Love him or hate him, he's got balls. I'm ashamed that we, the media are treating this as an actual news story. It might be a more interesting world thanks to seedy sites like Deadspin, but it ain't a better world.
*As someone who grew up and then grew old with Texas Stadium, I'll miss the old dump.
*Sorry, Eddie Gossage and gearheads, I still don't think NASCAR drivers are athletes. Skillful? Yes. Courageous? Hell yeah. Athletic? Giggle.
*Rangers' pitcher C.J. Wilson says he lost seven pounds during his bout of food poisoning. And, get this, he ate in the visitors' cluhouse at Cleveland's
Jacobs Progressive Field. Attacked out of nowhere by food poisoning once in Las Vegas, I literally rolled out of taxi throwing up in front of Bally's Hotel.
*The Black Eyed Peas' music is for the shallow generation.
They're Their lyrics are simplistic, moronic, insulting. That said, I was watching the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame show on HBO and I must say that Fergie is sexy in the way she moves.
*I used to exclusively lust the blonde. But recently I'm attracted to brunettes. So far, so good.
*Let's face it, the Mavs Maniacs are popular because they're fat. Their fame is derived from them not being afraid to be a punch line. Somewhere that origin got lost on them and fame went to their heads. Because when they're out in bars - in ripped T-shirt costumes, mind you - they're totally convinced they can actually dance. It's really quite fascinatin when a novelty act starts taking itself seriously.
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*Let me get this straight: If I'm in the left lane on the freeway going 80 mph I'm supposed to get over to the right when you fly up behind me flashing your lights and doing, oh I dunno, like 100? Given that there is a line of cars in the next lane traveling 60, that means I've got to slow down to 50 and fall in behind them, or speed up to 90 so I can jump in front of them. I want to drive 80. But you're demanding - flash, FLASH! - that I drive 50 or 90? Sorry, I don't think so.
*I wished I liked anything as much as Vladimir Guerrero likes swinging a baseball bat.
*Thanks to Rangers-Indians day game, I didn't radio Thursday. Instead, I golfed. For the first time in six months. The result? How about a fresh 82 out at this plush place? I'll take it.
*Gentlemen, start your engines. And your hormones. Today I'll be out at Texas Motor Speedway broadcasting live with Newy Scruggs on 105.3 The Fan. Tonight at 6 I'll be hosting a little shindig at the Fort Worth Gentlemen's Club (how's no cover and a free steak sound?). Tomorrow night back at TMS for a 105.3 The Fan/NASCAR party in the infield from 5 p.m. ... until? Don't be a stranger.