Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Hope last night doesn't come back to haunt the Texas Rangers down the road. Despite leading 4-0 with undefeated pitcher Tommy Hunter on the mound in Arlington, the Rangers imploded late and lost to the lowly Baltimore Orioles, 6-4. Baltimore is now 10-34 on the road. Vomit. The 8th inning may have been Texas' worst of the season. Elvis Andrus made an error. Frankie Francisco gave up a hit. Darren O'Day gave up a hit. And both Frankie and Darren Oliver hit batters with 0-2 pitchers. The Rangers didn't lose a game in the standings because the Angels lost again but, trust me, they lost a game in the standings.
*As I told you a while back, Russ Martin - yeah, that guy - starts Monday morning on 97.1 The Eagle. Though I think he's a very talented and obviously quick-witted dude, I never consistently listened to his show through the years. A little too slow-paced for me. I am intrigued to hear if he comes out blasting people like J.D. Ryan and, oh I dunno, me.
*In news that surely made football purists and Romo-haters cringe, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback has enough passing attempts to be counted in all-time passer ratings. He debuts No. 3 on the list, ahead of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Only Steve Young and Philip Rivers have a rating better than Romo's 95.6. Maddening, I know.
*Brenden Haywood can be inconsistent. Last year he sulked a little too much for my liking when Dallas Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle decided to play Erick Dampier. But when he's on, he's the best center in franchise history. Not saying a lot, considering he had to leap-frog the likes of Shawn Bradley and James Donaldson, but of all the center options out there Haywood was the best. Now, Mark Cuban, dazzle us. Mavs fans desire - and deserve - a splash. OK, perhaps a ripple?
*If the Rangers do indeed trade for Seattle Mariners ace Cliff Lee, I hear the players involved will be Chris Davis, Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Derek Holland. We OK with that?
*Hot.
*Not.
*Was talking to a hot girl at Duke's the other night. Then she turned and spit spat, right in the parking lot. Three times. Any time a woman reminds me she has human bodily functions I'm out.
*I've seen some quotes saying - I'm paraphrasing here - that the only way Tyler Morris wasn't seriously hurt or even killed after his fall at Rangers Ballpark was because of the "grace of God." Again, wouldn't it have been neato if that same "grace of God" would've "allowed" Morris to keep his balance and not fall at all? And don't come in here with the rubbish that maybe Morris' tale will save future lives by being a stark reminder. C'mon all-poweful GOG, how about nobody falls from stadiums? Ever. Too much to ask? It'd be a better world. Maybe not as interesting. But better.
*You could have actually won money last night when LeBron James didn't - I repeat, did not - actually put on a crown during The Decision. Bodog sports was taking bets on anything and everything LeBron. James to the Miami Heat somehow feels like he's cheating. Michael Jordan had to suffer with the Chicago Bulls and Dirk Nowitzki is loyal to our Mavericks. Both want(ed) to "see it through," and I respect the heck out of that. I've always despised Dwyane Wade. Now I have a reason to hate his Miami Heat teammates.
*I went and saw Twilight: Eclipse last weekend. Not horrible. Just real slow. And I still can't figure out Bella's choice. LeBron's I kinda saw, but not hers. The werewolf - and I say this backed by a staunch history of heterosexuality - is a good-looking dude while the vampire is skinny and frail and pasty and all, well, vampirey.
*The Texas Department of Health and Human Services this week warned against eating fish taken out of the Trinity River. I grew up smelling that river. They can save the energy and never issue that warning again. We're good.
*The Cowboys' pre-season opener is less than a month away.
*If this wasn't staged, it's my favorite new video.
*One thing I'm not going to miss is the daily mindmelt of Rangers' bankruptcy news. Such a downer. Nolan Ryan apparently is with me. He's now saying he doesn't know if he'll be here next season. Can't say that I blame him.
*Heading out for a week's vacation. Enjoy your time without me right here in Sportatoriuim, where the venerable Mike Fisher of DallasBasketball.com will fill in. And enjoy your time without me on 105.3 The Fan, where the venerable Wally Lynn will fill in. And I'll be back punching the clock July 19. For a change, do be a stranger.
