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You Don't Want Mayor Jim? Fine, I'm Going Home. (Just Not Down Henderson Avenue.)

You Don't Want Mayor Jim? Fine, I'm Going Home. (Just Not Down Henderson Avenue.)

Hey, generally speaking, the response to my offer of yesterday to run for mayor was quite disappointing. I got 20 comments, almost none of which were positive about the possibility of my being the next mayor. In fact most of the commenters talked about where the worst potholes are around town.

I feel like I offered to run for mayor, and everybody said, "Wow, this is some weather we've been having lately, isn't it?"

Yeah, I get the message. The old, "Let's change the subject on him, and maybe he won't notice." So that's it. I withdraw. I am no longer at all interested in being mayor. I don't even want to be mayor. I never did. I was just joking. But I will say this. I no longer believe in democracy.

On the other hand, one of the commenters did bring up my personal pet peeve about Dallas when he referred to "the Afghani [sic] donkey trail formerly known as Henderson Avenue." No kidding!

Five years ago, Henderson between Central Expressway and Ross Avenue in East Dallas was a rundown strip of bars and flea markets. But the street itself -- the pavement -- wasn't all that bad.

Then in a few short years, the street blossomed into what is now one of the city's coolest dining and entertainment strips, backed up by an enormous growth in new multifamily development in the blocks behind Henderson. And overnight the street itself turned into an Afghan donkey trail.

It's awful. And not just because there are huge potholes. The city has allowed contractors to go in there, gouge the hell out of the street, and then, instead of making them fix it back, they apparently allow them to patch the excavations they have made with material made of chicken offal and ground-up used clothing.

It's the worst street in the world! You need to wear a mouth-guard to drive down it. I drive down it, I see stuff flying off people's cars all the time, like license plates, bolts and once out of a pickup truck I fear -- but hope I'm wrong -- a small child. Or maybe just part of one. I am not kidding. I talked to a merchant there a week ago who told me he thinks the street is in the worst shape it has ever been in ever.

You know, City Hall just hands some guy hundreds of thousands of dollars to start a furniture store downtown because they think if there was a furniture store there would be more furniture and so more people would like to live there.

Brilliant! Where is that guy! Anybody see him lately?

So Henderson revives on its own, strictly according to the private sector and market forces, and it's like the city dispatches saboteurs during the night to blow up the street. Is it because it wasn't their revival? I wonder.

So, good comment, Mr. or Ms. Afghan Donkey Trail, whichever. And I am not running for mayor any more. Don't even ask. Don't bother begging me. It's over. I can't tell you how much this hurts. But not as much as driving down Henderson.


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