Arguably the lamest holiday of the year, New Year's Eve boils down to a celebration of one thing: relationships. Every year at the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve points at you and says, "Ha, ha! You're single and alone!" At that precise moment in time, you can actually feel the self-esteem level in your time zone drop a few notches. Then, to make the people who already started off their New Year with regret ("I can't believe I just made out with that. It was a chick, right?") feel a little worse, we sing "Auld Lang Syne" (a song written in drunkspeak that only the severely depressed know the words to). Why do this to yourself? Why go out for a night that you tell yourself will be awesome, only to end up holding your friend's hair back in a nasty bathroom stall while she utters incomprehensibly that you're her BFF? I'll tell you why: If you don't, I will make fun of you behind your back. So, at 8 p.m. Sunday, why... More >>>